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mrcrnvllltr
193 M Embraced 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2020 Member sinceJanuary 6, 2020
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unsure
Trauma Support / by mrcrnvllltr
Last post
 July 13th, 2020
...See more a few months ago, my then-girlfriend (now ex) and i went to a party, a party in which i drank a lot, and she didn't. my very drunk self took her (fully sober) to the bathroom, where i initiated a sexual encounter with her. an encounter which she went along with and never tried to stop. for a while, i thought nothing of it, but in retrospect, i wasn't in my right mind, seeing as how i was nearly passing out from how drunk i was, and she hadn't had a drop of alcohol. i feel like she took advantage of me, but i don't know for sure. did she rape me?
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i
Self-Harm Recovery / by mrcrnvllltr
Last post
 January 7th, 2020
...See more this is my first post. ive been overthinking it for a while now so i think im just gonna say whatever comes out and leave it hi lol my names mar. im 17. i started self-harming at 13 years old. i never really got help. at least not specifically for the self-harming. between ages 13-15 i saw many, many therapists, only one of which knew about my self-harming, and it was only cause my mom told them about it. i never mentioned it to anyone. to this day, i dont talk about my scars. i self harmed basically everyday for like a year. sometimes itd be cutting, sometimes other stuff. i guess the point was to feel pain. i never did it cause it felt good, tho sometimes it did. i did it because it felt real. ive lived my whole life feeling like things will just drift away from me and ill be unable to do anything about it. pain felt like a grasp on reality. a couple days after turning 15 i decided to stop. no outside help, no therapy, just me realizing that i hated what i was doing to myself and wanting it no more. unfortunately since then ive relapsed many, many, many times for different reasons. the only positive i can find to the relapses is that they never stuck around. itd just be a cut followed my immediate regret and a month or two of being clean. ive now been clean for 32 days. i really wanna turn 18 and be clean for good. idk if anyones even gonna read this but if u did thank u for listening to my ramblings lmao
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