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nyr41
3,413 M Seeking Light 1
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts246 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2018 Member sinceJuly 7, 2016
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Worried about the control my anxiety is having over me
Anxiety Support / by nyr41
Last post
 July 10th, 2016
...See more I am worried about how much my anxiety seems to be controling my life lately. It has been worse than normal the last week or so, it has now started to get to the point of where I am afraid to leave my house, even walking out to the mailbox to check the mail seems to take an internal conversation with myself where I need to convince myself it will be okay. I haven't been to a doctor to get an official dianosis, have always been afraid to. Was raised and taught that men have to be strong and never need help from anyone, and a part of me feels like I will be weak for seeking help. But as it is now, I am afraid that if I leave my house something will happen to it, or that if I do something will happen to me. Even strange cars in my street have been sending my anxiety into overdrive and I am now afraid to take my mind off it or let myself relax for too long because I feel like I will be letting my guard down and leaving myself vulnerable and exposed. I'm not sure what to do, I know I can't live like this, and I have experienced episodes like this but they usually go away after a week or so. But part of me is afraid to let go of all of this because it's what I know, as crazy as that sounds. I'm just afraid, of a lot of things and I am trying to not let all this fear, anxiety and worry dictate my life but I am having trouble listening or understanding the right and positive thoughts. I'm not sure what I am looking for or what I expect from here, but I guess maybe I just needed to get some of the thoughts out at the least
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