Worried about the control my anxiety is having over me
I am worried about how much my anxiety seems to be controling my life lately. It has been worse than normal the last week or so, it has now started to get to the point of where I am afraid to leave my house, even walking out to the mailbox to check the mail seems to take an internal conversation with myself where I need to convince myself it will be okay. I haven't been to a doctor to get an official dianosis, have always been afraid to. Was raised and taught that men have to be strong and never need help from anyone, and a part of me feels like I will be weak for seeking help. But as it is now, I am afraid that if I leave my house something will happen to it, or that if I do something will happen to me. Even strange cars in my street have been sending my anxiety into overdrive and I am now afraid to take my mind off it or let myself relax for too long because I feel like I will be letting my guard down and leaving myself vulnerable and exposed.
I'm not sure what to do, I know I can't live like this, and I have experienced episodes like this but they usually go away after a week or so. But part of me is afraid to let go of all of this because it's what I know, as crazy as that sounds. I'm just afraid, of a lot of things and I am trying to not let all this fear, anxiety and worry dictate my life but I am having trouble listening or understanding the right and positive thoughts. I'm not sure what I am looking for or what I expect from here, but I guess maybe I just needed to get some of the thoughts out at the least
@nyr41
It's okay to seek help.
Everyone will need help at some point in their life, it's a given. Even some of the greatest people ever lived had help, you don't need to conform to one of the biggest lies about society.
It is okay and reasonable to be weak. Remember, your emotions don't lie. Your emotions are valid and real.
The best thing you can do is to find the right help. If you don't seek proper help and treatment, then your symptoms might get worse over time. Confide in a trusted friend or family member about this problem. I also recommend talking to a professional if it does get worse.
Best~
@nyr41
As Senpai said, it is ok to seek help with this. Firstly, opening up on the forum here is a great start. You are not alone in this! Anxiety can be very debilitating, but it can also be overcome. It is ok to be afraid. Your thoughts cannot harm you, they are nothing more than thoughts.
Anxiety feeds on itself, the more you focus on it, the more you try to fight it, the harder it will push back. Let it happen, and know that it can't last forever. You will get past this. You are a lot stronger than you believe to be.
There are excellent resources on anxiety here: https://www.7cups.com/anxiety-help/ to help you get started.
@GreenGarnet
Thank you both very much for your words of support and advice. I have been thinking about it more and more the last few days, I can manage the day to day bits just fine, but its the panic attacks that seem to be getting worse and more often. So I am doing my best to work up the courage to talk to someone face to face about it, online is one thing but in person is a whole other level, at least for me any way. I appreciate the help and acceptance from everyone on this website that I have met so far. It really means a lot to meet people that can understand what this is all like, because to be completely honest, at times I was questioning my sanity or if I was "normal" so to speak. But again to both of you, thank you very much for your advice and understanding.
@nyr41 Fear is a very powerful emotion. So is anxiety. Feeling either just makes you human, not weak.
We all deal with how we feel in different ways. (Note the margarita on my side table as I type.) It's super healthy that you are verbalizing how you are feeling. It's also important to seek help.
Asking for help when we are anxious feels hard in the moment, but is really you showing incredible strength to make that call and drive to that appointment.
You got this!