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paleconstellations
1 131 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2025 Member sinceOctober 28, 2025
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vent update i guess
Eating Disorder Support / by paleconstellations
Last post
 October 29th, 2025
...See more had a fight with my mom and it didn’t get me anywhere at all. she was finally convinced to read about eds but made all the wrong connections. she thought of how i refused to hang out with my friends as a child because i’d be offered vegetables (which i hated) to now willingly eating them as me recovering (mind you i force myself to eat vegetables so there’s actually something to consume instead of eating nothing at all.) she blamed it on bullying and genetics and didn’t even notice that the diets she put me on from age 8 were a factor. she automatically looked for a treatment plan and is convinced ‘taking up a sport and eating healthy food’ is going to fix me. going by that logic wouldn’t i already be better? she didn’t even finally admit to me this was an ed she just said i have ‘bad symptoms’. this whole thing made me so angry. i wish i were skeletal enough for people to worry because even my mom didn’t. that’s how much no one cares. i wish i atleast had the courage to hurt myself in some noticeable way instead of doing nothing. i don’t feel valid at all because i’m supposed to have this disorder to lose weight. i had one job and i can’t do it right. 
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vent . no numbers mentioned
Eating Disorder Support / by paleconstellations
Last post
 October 29th, 2025
...See more i dont fit the usual ‘look’ people expect for anorexia, i eat under my maintenance but i look like i eat because i’m strategic about choosing food that are good for my energy, i’ve lost weight but i don’t look sick. i hate that. my own parents claimed i dont have an ed just because i eat infront of them and ‘arent anorexic people supposed to never eat??¿¿!!’ which is ridiculous. i wish i looked sick so people would believe me/worry. i need help with someone who’ll atleast listen because i don’t want to recover (please don’t suggest it i’ll literally panic.) and i’m so scared to tell anyone. only one friend knows and he doesn’t know a lot about this and i feel like a burden constantly bringing up random things about my struggles only to him. today i almost cried bec we had a reading passage about eds and my thin friend w a fast metabolism was so shocked that people did this and said she felt so much pity for people going through that but she said it in such a joking way while i literally had to dig my nails into my palm not to cry while the professor said people with eating disorders are weak because they can’t deal with life’s struggles. i’m sorry for the long post but i’m just so tired of being invisible. i’m scared to tell my friends because they might force me to eat or react badly and i think i told my parents about three times and they shrug it off everytime. i’m scared but i’d do anything to be seen because i’m tired of jumping through imaginary hoops my mind set for me that’ll somehow make people realize something’s wrong with me. also, i feel invalid when i see someone like the friend i mentioned with the fast metabolism look sicker than i am even though she eats regularly while i don’t eat at all. how come i look like i eat three breakfasts when i dont eat at all? this has been going on for so long i don’t understand what i’m supposed to do to make it real anymore. i’m tired i just want someone to see me 
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