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patientBanana4085
10,938 M Pacing Forward 4
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts212 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 14, 2020
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I am not mad anymore just disappointed
Relationship Stress / by patientBanana4085
Last post
 March 18th, 2020
...See more We were togethor for 6 years. I loved her more than anything I ever loved and did anything I could to make her happy, but we had a bumpy 2019 and we just couldn't see eye to eye and arguments sparked over the smallest things until we had a breakout. we did not talk for a few days and I tried to make things right but she was on tinder looking to date other people, it broke my heart as I was wanting to propose to her later in the year and was picking out the ring. She kept belitting me and kept throwing me down and yet we were still togethor and talking and each time I contacted her it was not just browsing tinder it was chatting and from chatting to a meetup to then... She did what she did and decided to tell me it all in detail to the point it just broke me. I was mad and sad and depression followed, I start hurting myself because I blamed myself. I know I was not perfect and I know I had my flaws but everyday I tried to make her happy. I had to remove all memories out of my life and so I deleted all our photos all the handcrafted gifts her made for me and anything that reminded me of her and it helped but i still had memories i could not just erase. The most painful part was we never broke up or i guess until she did what she did. She contacted me 4 weeks later wanting to work things out and I tried everything in my power to man up and forgive her for the pain she caused me and truthfully did not know the correct way, well in those few months I was the worst thing to be in her life yet once again, and let me tell you the second time hurt me more the things she said was to the point i just brokedown. And now I sit here missing her to this day and I don't know why. but im no longer mad at the things she said and did, im no longer mad at the person she became I am just disappointed. And I am honestly afraid of ever dating again.
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