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politeNectarine7253
1 85 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 13, 2021
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I’m confused about my sexuality and it’s affecting my mental health and daily life
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by politeNectarine7253
Last post
 September 14th, 2021
...See more Hi all, I wanted to post here as this is something I find hard sharing and don't have many friends I can share with. I'm going to give you some background first, I had kids really young and rushed into a relationship at 18 and never really got the opportunity to explore my sexuality and assumed I was bisexual, as since I was really young I have found woman incredibly attractive and fantasised about them. This past summer I have been going to a lot of LGBT+ club events and all women lesbian events and it's made me feel weird about my heterosexual relationship. I've had issues with intimacy in the relationship for a while that I put down to past trauma. Anyway, recently I kissed a girl in a club and the feeling I got from it was different to anything I've felt, and since then when I think about it it gives me tingles in my stomach. I'm now at a loss and I'm confused as to whether I am a lesbian in the closet or just bisexual and craving more. I've only ever had one relationship and sexual partner which is the father of my children so I've never really got to experiment or experience much. I lived in a very homophobic family who made it clear that being Gay was not acceptable and I'm wondering whether that made me stifle my sexuality. I don't know if it's possible to suddenly realise this late in life (I'm 23), but since this realisation it's all I can think about.I noticed many years ago that when I would be having sex with my partner that I was craving something different and a different level of intimacy, this has only continued and has left me feeling nothing during sex with my partner. As we have kids together and they are so young I don't know how to talk to him properly about this, I don't want to lead him on but I'm confused in my own body and I don't know what to do. I'm in a really depressive period right now as I feel trapped and I don't know what to do. Any help or nice words would be appreciated.
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