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purpleStrawberries7443
1 181 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceJuly 16, 2025
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Im losing my mind again
Depression Support / by purpleStrawberries7443
Last post
 August 17th, 2025
...See more My conscience has been send straight to *** and I’m breakdown everyday. I had to take a mental vacation from work in grateful they didn’t fire me. I just want to change i don’t want to stay in this *** state of mind i skipped 2 days of showering and that’s the first time i did that in a long time. My last day at work I left early cuz of a social anxiety induced panic attack that a nasty customer triggered and after that I couldn’t function right anymore it’s one thing after the other. I’m always overthinking, doubting myself, uncomfortable in public spaces, uncomfortable living in this house that’s owned by deeply narcissistic man that is my step dad. I’m not even safe alone because then i’m stuck with my thoughts and that’s truely terrifying. Living out of my purpose is *** and I don’t see a way to get to a heavenly peaceful state. I’m trying meditation but it’s so extremely frustrating sometimes. I want to connect with my ancestors and the practices they did not was not rooted in colonialism which is obeah and i can’t find literally any information on it. Everybody else gets these books to learn about their spirituality and i’m just fcked without any direction on how to do ancestral work or anything basic. I just want to face my shadows and free myself but it’s like all the information is being locked away from me, i feel that way meditating to, i don’t feel anything connection to anything, to myself, to god, to nature, to everything. And majority of people lack basic empathy and it’s SCARY and CONCERNING! This is *** on earth
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sexual frustration
General Support / by purpleStrawberries7443
Last post
 July 18th, 2025
...See more i been educating myself on this cuz i know intimacy is a basic human need and im not getting that, im showing every single sign of sexual frustrating to the max and it’s making my depression and anxiety worse, i’m so *** bitter towards couples that reflect the type of chemistry i want to experience i don’t like being a bitter person, i just want to avoid talking about it to avoid the frustration but i don’t think i can just make myself asexual and aromantic and remove that need. every. single. person. i know im my life have a consistent love life and sex life and i feel like the universe is putting salt on the wound and im so *** sick of it. and i been working on my self love for too long to still feel insecure the way i do, but honestly it’s so hard to not wonder what the *** is wrong with you when everybody you know is getting that need fulfilled but you. i feel annoying with this constantly being a topic but when everybody is always talking about their love life you always going to be reminded of the absence of yours. and it doesn’t help that my appearance makes people assume im some player that pulls a bunch of people because im telling you i *** dont. sorry for the cursing i just can’t fully express how i feel without the foul language cuz this *** feels foul as ***. all love
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