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ragginor
55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts2 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceSeptember 30, 2014
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My boyfriend of 3 years is an asian fetishist.
Relationship Stress / by ragginor
Last post
 April 28th, 2016
...See more I am Asian, my boyfriend is white. For the first time in 3 years today, I snooped through his phone, based on a suspicion he was cheating on me. I found heaps of white men on Asian girl porn. Degrading, objectifying, horrible stuff. I found he had an active account on a dating site for Asian women, looking for "hookups and relationships". I found he has been ordering lube, which I have never seen nor used before. So, where do I start. He is probably cheating on me, that's one thing. I've been little more than his personal Asian porn star for 3 years, that's another thing. I am so filled with disgust and shame and I want to cry and vomit. I thought he was just a regular, decent man who loved me for me. For 3 years I was such a colossal idiot, I feel so betrayed and so used and so tainted. I don't know why my boyfriend being an Asian fetishist is such a terrible thing to me, I suppose it isn't the worst thing a boyfriend could be, but I feel sick to my soul. 3 years, and it turns out I don't know him at all. We live together, but I can't bear to see his face. I don't know what advice to ask for, at this point I'm just begging for any words from someone who understands.
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