Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Considering therapy? Talk to a licensed therapist, wherever you are. Get started
redYard2159
1 557 M Embraced 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts41 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes24 Current upvotes24 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 10, 2023
Bio
Recent forum posts
redYard2159 profile picture
Am I overreacting?
General Support / by redYard2159
Last post
 May 16th, 2023
...See more so basically my birthday is coming up and my plan is to spend two nights at a hotel with my friends. I told them all about this over a month ago. And they all were like ‘I’m so down and going for both days’. However one in particular let’s call her Jemma was like ‘I’m going and staying both days’ when I told her over a month ago. However. I sent a group text yesterday explaining the plan and what we were going to be doing and asked for confirmation from all of them. They all confirmed EXCEPT Jemma. So I contacted her and was like ‘Hey girl! You still coming to my birthday?’ And she just goes ‘I’m in Italy. I should be coming back on the 22nd’. I honestly felt disrespected. I KNOW she knew about my birthday way before her trip to Italy. She went with her grandparents because they’re big travelers. Going to Italy is cool asf and I wouldn’t want to miss it either. However if I KNEW I had a friends birthday coming up and confirmed going I would’ve texted my friend or called apologizing and tell them I couldn’t go and pray to God they understood(which they all would tbh). If Jemma did that I would honestly feel less *** about it. Yes I’d be disappointed but I’d be way more understanding. Whenever I plan things I think about literally EVERYTHING going on in that month. So then I texted back saying ‘it’s okay(really not though). Have fun!’ And she went ‘sorry. I’ll text you later’ and left it at that. Like wtf??? Okay??? I know she had time to text more because I saw her *** story of her enjoying herself in Italy. I honestly feel so insulted. I may be over thinking it. But what she did was rude asf to me. I’m starting to realize she’s unreliable asf. But we’ve been friends for like 7 years. She’s done this before but I didn’t really care because it wasn’t a big deal. But now after over a month of knowing and not even letting me know before hand I feel super insulted. Like do I not matter to her anymore? Her actions show me she doesn’t care. So I want to tell her how it made me feel. The only problem is I know she’ll either laugh it off like no big deal or get annoyed and think I’m over reacting. Am I over reacting? Like wtf. I consider myself to be a thoughtful person when it comes to any sort of relationship but she’s so not thoughtful to me.
redYard2159 profile picture
Well i guess it's over
General Support / by redYard2159
Last post
 February 21st, 2023
...See more So I just ended a friendship today. If y'all read my previous post it's about Liv. If you don't know quick recap is basically she sent me a clip on *** about a motivational speaker talking about how people can out grow each other and I felt stunned because I thought it was about me and it wasn't but she was still acting curt and cold to me. So I asked her if she was mad at me what would it be about. And she said if a friend came to visit and then you noticed something was missing you'd be upset to. I felt very hurt that she thought I of all people would steal from her. I've been friends with her for about six years now. She refused to tell me what I stole. Saying 'you know what you took'. Which I don't. I have no idea what I supposedly took. She kept refusing to tell me. And by me not knowing was also me not admitting I stole from her i guess. She keeps playing the victim card saying how I'm the one in the wrong for stealing from her and not admitting it. She even said "I don't need to tell you because you know what you took" Like no I do not. I tried calling her to talk about it but she declined my calls. I asked her why I would possibly want to steal from her. She even said she didn't know but since I obviously wanted whatever is missing I took it. I am very hurt because I've given her so many things. I bought her a cat for her birthday and paid for several meals we had myself. I have never asked for a penny back. And here she is treating me like this. She tried saying 'well i have given you things as well' I know damn well none of the things she's given me equate or are worth more than how much I've spent on her. I tried convincing her I genuinely have no clue what she's talking about or what I supposedly stole and she kept up with the whole 'do you think i'm stupid and wouldn't notice?'. She said that a couple days after I left from visiting her she noticed it was gone. However the last time I visited her was in JANUARY. So like, what? Why wouldn't she tell me then? Why is she bringing this up now? And apparently she's noticed on more than one occasion that after I leave things are missing! I tried calming her down and explaining but she was having none of it. Saying 'you know i've been through a lot and I thought you were the one person i could trust'. I know she's been through a lot and I've stood by her supporting her and comforting her. I would never in my life steal from a friend. She said 'i don't need to talk to you because you're not admitting to it'. I tried apologizing by saying if i took something by accident, I didn't mean to because accidentally taking something I very possible. I even offered to replace whatever it was that is missing. This happened the next day, she said 'it's not the fact you stole it's the fact you even took anything at all'. At this point I was kind of over it as I realized she was basically gas lighting me and we were running around in circles. I told her I wasn't going to apologize for something I didn't do and I was shocked she would think I'm the type of person to steal from a friend and that I thought she knew me better than that. And she doubled down saying once more how I'm in the wrong and she didn't do anything wrong. She even said "God knows the truth" (We're both Christians. Like really religious ones.) Also said "You decide the person you are but because of your actions and the person that you decided to be you just lost a amazing friend!" Then she said almost threateningly "I'd be careful about where youre going and who you hand out with and the decisions you make in the future because those dictate who you are" then she finished by saying lying and stealing was a sin like I'm an idiot and don't know that. I just responded by saying God does indeed know the truth and I'm sorry she thinks this of me. I reiterated that I took nothing from her and she just refuses to believe me and I can't change that and I don't know what I supposedly took from her. I said my conscious was clean. I told her I would never steal from her because I love her and respect her and was sorry we couldn't be friends anymore. I'm just really insulted that she thinks I'm the type of person to steal from a friend. If you ask any of my friends right now if I've ever stolen from them the answer would be no. I would never do that as I love them all very much. I love Liv very much and it absolutely pains me that she would even think this. It feels bad, and I don't like it. I feel like I got stabbed by someone I love and trust. I'm still wondering what she's missing. The best thing about this is that I know she will find whatever it is eventually. I think she doesn't know where it is because her house is actually very messy. I hope when she finds it she's reminded of how she treated me and knows she was very wrong for it. We have the same friend group and if they ask I'll tell them the truth and let them decide what to believe. I'll even let them read our text because I have nothing to hide. I decided even if she apologized, I wouldn't want to be friends with her anymore. Yes I would forgive her, but I wouldn't be friends with her anymore. I don't need someone to treat me like this without even talking to me first. She crossed the line and this is a consequence. I just hope she learns to not jump to conclusions like this in the future otherwise she loses more friends. I just feel very hurt right now that someone I would consider a sister or even closer than that would just do this to me.
redYard2159 profile picture
Idk what to do
General Support / by redYard2159
Last post
 February 18th, 2023
...See more I have a problem with one of my friends. Let’s call her Liv. I’ve been friends with her for five years and I absolutely love her to death. But recently she’s been treating me much differently. Like before she’d send me clips on *** or like we would text each other funny things. But now she’s like curt and almost cold to me. I think she’s mad at me because she called me while I was out with some other friends and asked me if we were going to do ice skating with our friend group since she was going to be in town as she lives a two hour drive away from me. I said I didn’t know and to ask one of our friends who would be our driver as none of us drove even though we are definitely all old enough to. Then my friend, Liv asked if I could ask our driver friend if we were going ice skating and I said no as I was out and it’d be rude to make a phone call with other people as I was at dinner. Then Liv asked if I could call our driver friend when I was done and I kinda snapped at her and said I wouldn’t because Liv is the one who wants to go ice skating and I wouldn’t be doing her things for her. So recently Liv sent me a clip on *** about this motivational speaker who was talking about how people can outgrow each other and they’re only meant for a season in a persons life. And I’ll admit I felt like I got slapped because i thought she was directing it to me. But when I asked she said no. So whatever, cool. But then the next day when I did see her she wasn’t very friendly. She was mad because I did say I might not be able to see her because I had to figure out a transportation route because my parents refuse to drive me(different story for a different day) and I’d probably be an hour late. But she was so offended and thought I was being rude because I said I got a new job and had to figure out how I was going to get there. She said I was the one who was constantly asking to hang out and she didn’t know when she’d come down again. Not like that’s a problem because I go down to see her like once a month. I just feel hurt that she’s doing this because I’ve done so much for her over a course of five years. I’ve never asked to be paid back and I’ve bent over backwards for her but then she treats me like this. I feel she doesn’t appreciate or understand just how much I do for her. I feel she only uses me for my money as I make more than her and only contacts me when she needs or wants things. Never because she just wants to talk. I’ve called her just wanting to talk and not really because I need anything from her. I feel like this is a very one sided friendship. But I would hate to lose her over five years. I feel like I can’t express how I feel because she’ll think I’m attacking her or won’t care or just thinks I’m being a b word. Sorry for long rant.
Search more from @redYard2159
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
12 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Honest Voice First Post Reaching out Helping out Appreciated Voice First Compassion Teammate Forum Friend
Report an issue
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched
Considering therapy? Talk to a licensed therapist, wherever you are. Get started