scarletCamp2629 Member Profile

...See more They said that when you become a teen, everybody's not going to be mean. That opportunities will open even if people wish you a bad omen. But why is it so different? Why can I no longer lean on my parent? Why did everyone became so mean? How did being fragile became a sin? My emotions dropped, anxiety just won't stop. The world that I thought was prosperous, it suddenly became dangerous. Mom told me that the world is a safe place, but why did she lie right in front of my face? I look in the mirror, and I can hear their voices filled with horror. When I was young, everybody said I looked good. “Scarlet, in able to be healthy, eat a lot of food.” Mom brought me pretty dresses. They said I am still beautiful even if I look like a mess. But when I turned 18, society isn’t pleased about what they’ve seen. “You look so big.” “Are you sure that you aren’t a pig?” Insults after insults, insecurity was the ending result. I stopped eating, I did my best to be the person worthy to be called a “human being.” I starved myself, I did everything just to please society. No matter what I do, nothing can make them happy. It took me a while to accept that this is now my reality, there’s no more escape for me. I put on make up so I will look pretty. I wore uncomfortable skirts just to be called sexy. I spent my nights studying to exceed everyone’s expectations. I created a perfect illusion. Despite all of my efforts, I was still called ugly. I was harassed sexually. Being top 2 was not well-received. All this time, I let myself be deceived. Nothing is enough for them and that is the problem. I became their marionette, their lifeless puppet. They said that when you become a teen, it will be meaningful than what they show on the TV screen. But it was a lie, opportunities didn’t open. All your dreams will be forgotten. It is very different, society will make you feel discontentment. How did it come to this? Being a kid is what I already miss. My emotions don’t matter, the same as this life that I wanted to surrender. The world that I thought would show me rainbows, it showed me a world full of sorrows.

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