[TW] Drastic Change

They said that when you become a teen,

everybody's not going to be mean.

That opportunities will open

even if people wish you a bad omen.

But why is it so different?

Why can I no longer lean on my parent?

Why did everyone became so mean?

How did being fragile became a sin?

My emotions dropped,

anxiety just won't stop.

The world that I thought was prosperous,

it suddenly became dangerous.

Mom told me that the world is a safe place,

but why did she lie right in front of my face?

I look in the mirror,

and I can hear their voices filled with horror.

When I was young, everybody said I looked good.

“Scarlet, in able to be healthy, eat a lot of food.”

Mom brought me pretty dresses.

They said I am still beautiful even if I look like a mess.

But when I turned 18,

society isn’t pleased about what they’ve seen.

“You look so big.”

“Are you sure that you aren’t a pig?”

Insults after insults,

insecurity was the ending result.

I stopped eating,

I did my best to be the person worthy to be called a “human being.”

I starved myself, I did everything just to please society.

No matter what I do, nothing can make them happy.

It took me a while to accept that this is now my reality,

there’s no more escape for me.

I put on make up so I will look pretty.

I wore uncomfortable skirts just to be called sexy.

I spent my nights studying to exceed everyone’s expectations.

I created a perfect illusion.

Despite all of my efforts, I was still called ugly.

I was harassed sexually.

Being top 2 was not well-received.

All this time, I let myself be deceived.

Nothing is enough for them

and that is the problem.

I became their marionette,

their lifeless puppet.

They said that when you become a teen,

it will be meaningful than what they show on the TV screen.

But it was a lie, opportunities didn’t open.

All your dreams will be forgotten.

It is very different,

society will make you feel discontentment.

How did it come to this?

Being a kid is what I already miss.

My emotions don’t matter,

the same as this life that I wanted to surrender.

The world that I thought would show me rainbows,

it showed me a world full of sorrows.