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secretPlace3692
184 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 29, 2023
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Loving a fearful avoidant
Relationship Stress / by secretPlace3692
Last post
 February 3rd, 2023
...See more Anyone here been in a relationship with a fearful avoidant before? My fiancé recently left me and she knows this is her attachment style. She’s recently been going to therapy and trying to work through these things which I loved and gave me hope when things got rocky around the proposal as I could tell she was getting scared and self sabotaging the relationship. I should’ve seen it coming and in a way I knew it was because it’s what she’s done in all her relationships but I genuinely believed we were different and that she was willing to work through it together because she wanted to finally change
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Dealing with a break up
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by secretPlace3692
Last post
 February 1st, 2023
...See more my fiancé proposed to me on Christmas Eve and now just days ago she broke things off. She’s been dealing with mental health and started going to therapy to work through some child hood trauma stuff. In her own journey she discovered that she has a fearful avoidant attachment style. In all my reading and research to better understand this and support her it confirmed that she would do exactly what she did. When the relationship gets serious they self sabotage and run. I certainly am not perfect as I can be insecure about people leaving me based on past experiences. So when I felt her pulling away I know I clinged more and I know now this only serves to push avoidants always. This isn’t the first time she’s done this in a relationship and so while logically I know it’s not about me and that I genuinely tried everything I could to support her and us, it still hurts so badly and I’m so lost and confused. we had our entire life planned out and wedding booked etc and yet it’s all just crashing down. She said she’s not happy and not in love but to do all of it so soon after deciding to propose when I gave her every out not to if she wasn’t ready yet just leaves me feeling so lost. Venting has helped
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