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selfconfidentSpruce3548
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PathStep 41 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2020 Member sinceApril 14, 2018
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Confused
Relationship Stress / by selfconfidentSpruce3548
Last post
 May 3rd, 2018
...See more So my ex who cried and said he didn
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A Helpful Story for Missing Someone After a Breakup
Relationship Stress / by selfconfidentSpruce3548
Last post
 April 19th, 2018
...See more Some background before the story: recently I was broken up with and have been finding myself getting bored and lonely when Im alone (when before and during the relationship I wouldnt have been affected). I have come to realise that he was making me miserable towards the end of the relationship, and also after seeing him since he broke up with me that I no longer have feelings for him, I still miss having him there to hang out with. So here is something I read that helped: A dentist likened missing someone after a breakup to the feeling after having a bad tooth pulled out. You may have needed to have the tooth pulled out because it was causing you pain, or you may not have realised there was a problem and it came as a shock that it had to come out. Either way it needed to happen and now its gone and youre healthier for it. But even once youve accepted this there is still a gap that you werent used to and it can take a long time to stop noticing it. It might be strange or even painful at first but eventually you will get used to the gap and stop noticing it. So while I may miss my ex now, he needed to go and eventually not seeing him all the time will be the new normal. For now Im going to find things to distract myself from the gap and hopefully make myself a better person.
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Getting Back to Being Friends
Relationship Stress / by selfconfidentSpruce3548
Last post
 April 15th, 2018
...See more I've recently been broken up with by my boyfriend of 2 years. We were friends for 10 years before we got together. I didn't see it coming. He said he didn't feel the same way anymore but that he cares about me and wants me to be happy and wants to stay friends, which is slightly confusing since I don't know if he stopped feeling the same way because he was scared of commitment (this was the longest he'd been in a relationship for) or just because he got bored of the relationship. Obviously I like him as a person and want to stay friends too (plus we share a lot of friends and I dont want to make it awkward for them or get left out of things) but I dont know if I'll be ready when I see him. I know in my head that he would probably not have made a great life partner because of his lack of ambition which I would have eventually become fed up of (although I only found out about his lack of life goals after things ended), but our personalities and interests fit so well together. I'm not sure if I'm just scared of being lonely and I'm worried I'll never find someone to spend my life with (I got into this relationship shortly after my first relationship of 4 years so haven't been single for 6 years) or if I am still hoping he gets his life on track, realises he wants to get back together and gets over his fear of commitment or tendency to get bored. I have a tendency to over analyse things... We've had a couple of months apart since the break up and are meant to be meeting for food today to see whether being friends is realistic at this time. I hope it goes well and alleviates some of these worries/confirms some of my thoughts so I can stop thinking about it and get on with things...
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