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shouKo25
3,556 M Seeking Light 2
PathStep 70 Compassion hearts121 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2021 Member sinceOctober 9, 2021
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Just want to open up **sexual assault**it might be disturbing
Trauma Support / by shouKo25
Last post
October 15th, 2021
...See more **Don't read if you get triggered **sexual assault ** Idon't know but I feel really heavy and I guess I just should share this thing , since I was a child I was really emotional and sacrificing towards others ,my parents are really strict so while growing up Iwas alone & never shared anything with them ,I remember when I was 9-10 years old I was walking on this road ,it was summer time so I was walking in the shade & then saw this weird man walking besides me he was constantly trying to me ,I just ignored and suddenly he came close to me,I thought he just wanted to walk in shade I just kept walking and suddenly he pushed me towards and rubbed his private part with mine I started screaming and crying and pushed him I kept running until I reached home , second time I was sitting and this guy who was a maths teacher (and a guest) touched me around my chest , then I was sleeping with my cousin (female) she touched my b**bs,and then a shopkeeper touched my chest and pressed it, he tried to press his private part with mine but I somehow got out from there , another incident a guy I was sitting at a doctor's place touched me on my chest ...I'm 15 and already going through these incidents just make me feel I don't have a future ,I jusr hate myself ,keep self blaming ,I was weak and will be ,I feel like won't be protect myself ever,not a single day when I can't remember everything that happened to me & wrost part it most of them kept calling me "daughter"I'm just tired ... sorry for this much long message im really very sorry ...
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Was I at the fault ? Should I blame myself?
Trauma Support / by shouKo25
Last post
October 16th, 2021
...See more I am teenager ...I have been sexually assaulted multiple times ,I don't know it hurts like just keeping to yourself...I can't express ,i constantly blame myself because everytime It happened ,I became blank ,and I feel like I wouldn't be able to take stand for myself in future.i don't know but I just feel afraid of every person I meet and I'm really protective ,that's reason I don't have friends ...I don't like people anymore and talking to a therapist is not even an option because my parents don't even consider mental health an issue.if I tell my parents ,all I will get is restrictions on myself.i just usually think of hurting myself,I keep talking to myself and I feel like I don't deserve the body I live in...I shared will my ex ,that person told me why so many times it all happened to me only ?might be because I was wrong...since than I can't stop myself to blame me
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