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smallSailboat53
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2026 Member sinceFebruary 16, 2026
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Treating new partners like past partners that traumatized you
Trauma Support / by smallSailboat53
Last post
 March 3rd
...See more I have a 35-year-old female who lives through three years of physical and mental abuse to the extreme. I was beaten when I was pregnant and then had to get an abortion so I could get the surgery to have titanium put in my jaw… A single mother to a nine-year-old and I was able to get out of that situation even though very hard considering I have no family now I’ve been out of it for three years. I have suffered PTSD in different forms, when I first left I was scared of heights, just being on Stairs, I was scared of fast cars driving past me and of course, any truck looks like his. I had a panic attack. I don’t like long farm therapy and I got out after six months but I’m realizing now that I have a new Love interest that I need to get working through more of my issues.. I’ve caught myself treating him like my past abusers like defending myself when it’s not needed or knee jerk trying to just get rid of him so that he can’t hurt me.. This guy is really amazing and I really wanna keep him please if anybody has some advice or guidance I feel like he could be my happy place but I also feel like I’m tattered and too much.. We’ve already had three instances where I tried to totally push them away and what he called crash outs.. The thing is, I don’t think I was directing any of it towards him at all.. But I just have to keep myself safe and I don’t know how to explain this and I feel terribly. I want to be better for him and for myself and daughter of course .. But these issues are more relevant in my intimate relationships… Any guidance on how to try to self correct what’s been done to you?
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Domestic abuse and moving on
Trauma Support / by smallSailboat53
Last post
 March 3rd
...See more Hi. I am at 35-year-old female. I have been out of a severely domestic violence relationship for three years now and I finally found a good guy… I have gotten myself good enough with six months of therapy to get rid of some of the PTSD. I was experiencing like fear of heights which I never had even standing on stairs or a car driving past quickly. The therapy really helped because she explained to me that my mind was in flight or Fight mode for so long that now it was creating that for itself.. I have titanium in my jaw from my ex he broke my jaw while I was pregnant. I had to get an abortion so I could get the surgery and then when I ran off to California to stay with a friend, nobody would help me get the arch bars out of my mouth that were screwed into my jaw because I got it done in Louisiana, where my sister lived. I had to go back to him because my sister wouldn’t have me back and I needed to get the arch bars out of my mouth I entered more trauma after that I’ve just been around him… Without going into everything that happened then I wanna focus on what’s happening now.. I found a really good guy that I love and who wants to love me, but I keep finding moments where I… He calls it crashing out, but I basically treat him like my past abuser or abusers. I already had some damage from my early 20s and somebody who is really bad.. not to mention that only started because I had a non-loving meth induced abusive mother that I was working past…. I just wanna be good for this guy and I wanna work through my things so that I can give him a better version of myself than the one defending against abusers that aren’t even here anymore… it’s like my body wants to protect itself and I get that, but can I not be open still?
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