Domestic abuse and moving on

Hi. I am at 35-year-old female. I have been out of a severely domestic violence relationship for three years now and I finally found a good guy… I have gotten myself good enough with six months of therapy to get rid of some of the PTSD. I was experiencing like fear of heights which I never had even standing on stairs or a car driving past quickly. The therapy really helped because she explained to me that my mind was in flight or Fight mode for so long that now it was creating that for itself.. I have titanium in my jaw from my ex he broke my jaw while I was pregnant. I had to get an abortion so I could get the surgery and then when I ran off to California to stay with a friend, nobody would help me get the arch bars out of my mouth that were screwed into my jaw because I got it done in Louisiana, where my sister lived. I had to go back to him because my sister wouldn’t have me back and I needed to get the arch bars out of my mouth I entered more trauma after that I’ve just been around him… Without going into everything that happened then I wanna focus on what’s happening now.. I found a really good guy that I love and who wants to love me, but I keep finding moments where I… He calls it crashing out, but I basically treat him like my past abuser or abusers. I already had some damage from my early 20s and somebody who is really bad.. not to mention that only started because I had a non-loving meth induced abusive mother that I was working past…. I just wanna be good for this guy and I wanna work through my things so that I can give him a better version of myself than the one defending against abusers that aren’t even here anymore… it’s like my body wants to protect itself and I get that, but can I not be open still?