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sophie44612
191 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2018 Member sinceJuly 11, 2017
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19 and never been kissed
Relationship Stress / by sophie44612
Last post
 February 4th, 2018
...See more I'm a 19 year old girl and I've never been kissed. I feel like such a wierdo. Sometimes it doesn't bother me and I can almost accept it, but sometimes it feels like the clock is ticking and I'm carrying this big secret around with me wherever I go. Tonight I was at this part and my crush was there, but he obviously doesn't like me or even care about me. I need to move on, but I can't. I jusy feel like such a loser that I can't even be liked back by my crush. I just want to feel as a good as everyone else. I almost feel like I'm not allowed to be happy, because I'm carrying this huge lame secret. I just wish I was good enough for him. Should I just kiss any old guy so that I can get it done with? Or should I keep waiting for the right one, if he ever comes along? I might end up a 70 year old kiss virgin! I just want to be normal. Sorry for them self pitying post. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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I made a fool of myself again
Anxiety Support / by sophie44612
Last post
 July 13th, 2017
...See more Today I went out with my friend and some of her friends from work who I haven't met. I thought it'd be ok, because I'm better in social situations now than I used to be. When we met her friends though the first thing I did was spill my hot chocolate on the table, which made me look like a total idiot. Then they all started talking about work and because I didn't work there I didn't really have anything to add to the conversation, so I just sat there silently not knowing what to say. My friend then looked at me and commented on how I was all left out, so I knew that I was making things awkward. After that we were going to go bowling, but lots of the lanes were down due to some of the power being out, so we had a really long wait and not much to do. We all went to a cafe and I still didn't say anything. By this point I was really drained and felt like nobody really wanted me to be there and it was making me really sad. I decided to ask my friend if I could just stay for the first bowling game and then leave, but she was like "oh, ok then" and then told her friends. Everybody was looking at me and asking why, so I got really anxious and made some stupid excuse about being ill and left, which was the most awkward thing ever. I just feel so ashamed about the whole thing. If my parents knew they'd be so dissapointed in me. I know I'm meant to embrace being wierd and everything, but I don't understand why I can't behave and act in a socially acceptable way. I'm so fed up of making a fool of myself and feeling ashamed. I just can't seem to work out what's wrong with me. Sorry this was so long, I think I just needed to get it off my chest.
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