I made a fool of myself again
Today I went out with my friend and some of her friends from work who I haven't met. I thought it'd be ok, because I'm better in social situations now than I used to be. When we met her friends though the first thing I did was spill my hot chocolate on the table, which made me look like a total idiot. Then they all started talking about work and because I didn't work there I didn't really have anything to add to the conversation, so I just sat there silently not knowing what to say. My friend then looked at me and commented on how I was all left out, so I knew that I was making things awkward. After that we were going to go bowling, but lots of the lanes were down due to some of the power being out, so we had a really long wait and not much to do. We all went to a cafe and I still didn't say anything. By this point I was really drained and felt like nobody really wanted me to be there and it was making me really sad. I decided to ask my friend if I could just stay for the first bowling game and then leave, but she was like "oh, ok then" and then told her friends. Everybody was looking at me and asking why, so I got really anxious and made some stupid excuse about being ill and left, which was the most awkward thing ever.
I just feel so ashamed about the whole thing. If my parents knew they'd be so dissapointed in me. I know I'm meant to embrace being wierd and everything, but I don't understand why I can't behave and act in a socially acceptable way. I'm so fed up of making a fool of myself and feeling ashamed. I just can't seem to work out what's wrong with me. Sorry this was so long, I think I just needed to get it off my chest.
@sophie44612
From my experience, we think everyone is looking at us like the weirdo for not speaking or maing a stupid ove - but honestly, I'm sure they wouldn't have cared at all that you spilt your drink - I know its hard but just try and laugh at yourself when things like that happen - it wil help others know how to react too and makes things a little less awkward.
In terms of talking, there is nothing wrong with that - just try small gestures such as nodding or saying "cool, yep" etc to show you are engage and listening to them :) I am stocking at speaking in a group of people I don't know and constantly feel like out of chats becuase I have quite a quiet voice - I have been trying this lately and have been noticing some of my friends making more of an effort to speak directly to me as I am showing I am interested in whats going on, I just might not know what to say. Make sure your mate knows how you feel as she may not have realised this was the way you were feeling and thought you just wanted to leave - commuication is key with love ones :)
Hope your okay hun! You are doing great :* xx
@funnyCity3215
Thanks for the reply :) I hope you're doing great too. I think I do need to practice more at these group conversations, probably because I worry too much about what people think. I told my friend though and she just told me that she would never invite me anywhere again. She said that she tried to involve me and that I should just speak and join in. I don' think I'm going to hang out with her that much anymore. Thank you again for the reply though and for all the advice :)
Thank you everyone for being so kind 😊 I have cheered up a lot about the whole thing now. Thanks so much!