spikymangoes Member Profile

...See more Hello everyone, I am new to this community. I’m mostly just looking to vent as I don’t have an outlet in real life and can’t afford therapy. Possibly trigger warning? Not sure how people on this platform handle talking of unaliving thoughts.. I hate having to wake up every morning, I lost my job in august due to over staffing, so I wake up every day to do a whole lot of nothing. I barely have to motivation to get out of bed, but when I do, I can’t force myself to do basic things like brush my teeth, shower, or clean. I basically just sit around or sleep until my boyfriend gets home from work, at which point I’ll get up and probably watch something or play video games to try to seem like a normal person. My boyfriend is very loving and supportive and does his best to help me out, but he can only do so much. My family is extremely frustrated with me for losing my job and not being able to find a new one. They are currently paying my rent which makes me feel even worse about it. (I am job searching, it’s not going well) Honestly, the only reason I haven’t unalived myself yet is because I can’t bear the thought of putting my boyfriend and family through that. The only things I look forward to are video game releases. (sounds so *** lame when I say it out loud but it’s true) It feels like no matter how hard I try to do anything it never works out. Feels really *** to keep getting screwed over for no apparent reason. I wanna keep trying but it’s getting really hard to do that… Thanks to anyone who reads this, hope you guys are doing okay out there.

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