I hate my life
Hello everyone, I am new to this community. I’m mostly just looking to vent as I don’t have an outlet in real life and can’t afford therapy. Possibly trigger warning? Not sure how people on this platform handle talking of unaliving thoughts..
I hate having to wake up every morning, I lost my job in august due to over staffing, so I wake up every day to do a whole lot of nothing. I barely have to motivation to get out of bed, but when I do, I can’t force myself to do basic things like brush my teeth, shower, or clean. I basically just sit around or sleep until my boyfriend gets home from work, at which point I’ll get up and probably watch something or play video games to try to seem like a normal person.
My boyfriend is very loving and supportive and does his best to help me out, but he can only do so much. My family is extremely frustrated with me for losing my job and not being able to find a new one. They are currently paying my rent which makes me feel even worse about it. (I am job searching, it’s not going well)
Honestly, the only reason I haven’t unalived myself yet is because I can’t bear the thought of putting my boyfriend and family through that. The only things I look forward to are video game releases. (sounds so *** lame when I say it out loud but it’s true)
It feels like no matter how hard I try to do anything it never works out. Feels really *** to keep getting screwed over for no apparent reason. I wanna keep trying but it’s getting really hard to do that…
Thanks to anyone who reads this, hope you guys are doing okay out there.
Sending lots of strength and peace. I have been in your shoes. Fighting for that new job is tough, but you can do it slowly but surely.
Begin with simple steps like praising yourself when you do get up in the morning and get breakfast. That matters because it takes lots of energy right now. Try to get outside or sit by an open window when you can. Just that little bit of nature and movement can be really helpful.
Keep venting and sharing here too. @spikymangoes
@spikymangoes
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and challenges spikymangoes. I suggest you take some time to mourn/be depressed but also take time to face what you have been avoiding and that is important to try to address (this may include going back to school; I'm having to make decisions to go back to school when I'm ready). I can see it is hard and a struggle to deal with depression but try to do things that you are avoiding that are important and also a few fun activities too.
Life is difficult and sometimes, people do not seem to be on your team (in my opinion). That keeps me motivated to keep at it until satisfactory results happen at minimum. I wish you well and I can see that it is hard for you. I hope things get better for you.
