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stupidbambi
220 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2020 Member sinceMay 26, 2020
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in need of support
Personality Disorders Support / by stupidbambi
Last post
 September 10th, 2020
...See more recently, i started up online therapy with a professional behind my parents backs. my parents don't understand and often use my mental illness against me. i'm 14 (turning 15 in less than 3 months)and they see me as "too young to be mentally ill" despite me struggling with my mental health & self harm since a young age. when i started up i talked about how i'd actually been showing a lot of symptoms of BPD throughout my entire childhood and how they're now becoming a lot stronger if that makes sense. my therapist told me it's likely it's genetic from my dads side and i essentially have it however i couldn't get a diagnosis for it for a year because here in the UK you have to wait for a year before you can get properly diagnosed/ confirmed diagnosis. my therapist actually ended up firing me not too long after because i wasn't making progress. right now the waiting list is too long for online therapy on the NHS & i cant go to in person therapy because of my parents. i cant talk to them about my mental health at all. if anyone has any suggestions on what to do/ support/ there are any experienced and committed listeners pls reply or feel free to send me a message <3
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no memories
Trauma Support / by stupidbambi
Last post
 June 6th, 2020
...See more hi! i've recently realised i actually don't have any memories. i can remember photos, like if i think of a time i can see a photo i've taken but not anything else that happened. i think that because i grew up surrounded by triggers i tried to block everything out. i was wondering if anyone else has had the same experience because i'm beginning to feel crazy right now <3
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i
Trauma Support / by stupidbambi
Last post
 May 27th, 2020
...See more last july i was sexually assulted by a popular boy a year above me. nobody took me seriously. my best friend was with me when it happened and she said it's okay because he's attractive and a lot of girls at my school like him and his friends too. i knew already nobody would do anything. not enough evidence, i wasn't r*ped so it wasn't "severe enough" and people would defend him. at the time i thought i was just dramatic so i did nothing and went about my life. every day at school he'd look me in the eyes and smile at me like nothing happened, like he enjoyed the fear in my eyes. i ignored everything until recently. i keep having flashbacks, i keep seeing his face remembering what he said and what he did. i don't feel like myself anymore, i don't know who i am and my body doesn't feel mine. i feel like i'm disconnected from myself. i know now, it's too late to do anything so that doesn't bother me. i just want to know how to cope and how to get over it. if anyone has any advice that would be great <3
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