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stylishprawn
1 90 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceOctober 18, 2021
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I just wanted to get this off my chest/TW
Trauma Support / by stylishprawn
Last post
 October 25th, 2021
...See more Hi, I’m 13 years old and I’ve gone through many bad things during age 4-12 for about almost 7 to 8 years. So my dad married someone else before my mom. They divorced when their daughter, which is my stepsister was about 4. My dad is a manipulative person who gaslighted my sister for several years, even when she was studying for a university she really wanted to go into. She didn’t get accepted into that university, and then my dad started to show extreme disappointment by saying negative things to her all the time. Then she really, really got fed up and started blaming everyone in our household of her failure. My dad, my mom and of course me. She started fighting with my dad, every single day for atleast 2 hours. And that fight included mean comments and hatred against me that I had to listen to. It happened for about six years. At that point my dad was fired and we were economically unstable too. Things were a disaster, and I had nowhere to talk about it. My mom is a very supportive person, but I didn’t want to worry her so I acted as if everything was fine, and of course it was not. Crying myself to sleep was a daily thing, and one time I tired to self harm (I didn’t do it though). It kind of ended when my dad started working and my sister moved out. We also moved to another country. I have made friends and my life is better, but my dad is still a bit manipulative and I hate it. And thanks to him I got extreme anxiety linked to fighting and yelling, even if it doesn’t involve me. I get panic attacks when someone yells/fights whether it’s directed towards me or not. I get panic attacks when I read literature and watch movies that have intense fighting scenes. I’m trying to stop thinking about it but I get flashbacks. It’s really hard for me, and I figured it would be better if I just get it off my chest. I wrote this without checking so there might be grammar/spelling mistakes and it might sound really scrambled and out of place, sorry for that. If anyone reads this thanks for listening and I hope you have a great day :)
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