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sunnyGrapes9408
1 65 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 3, 2021
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Family Stress
Family & Caregivers / by sunnyGrapes9408
Last post
 October 12th, 2023
...See more As the eldest child from a brown family and also being a daughter, I just always feel like I'm not good enough. In fact my parents tell me I'm not good enough, my dad once called me a disappointment so that shows something. It's just constant battle between us. I can day I have a hit of trouble controlling my emotions, I try not to get angry and be rude but I hold on my emotions so much that sometimes it just explodes. I honestly am trying to make them proud but I just can't. It hurts me it's the most painful thing, taht I cant fricking make them proud. Even if I get a good grade or win a prize that's still not good enough for them. While much younger brother gets congratulated for everything, they always tell him how proud they are of him, they tell him how much hes loved and all I want is to hear them say they are proud of me got once in my life. When I was first born my dad didn't even wanna look at me because I was girl, and I get he was hoping for a boy that can carry on the family name. He also wasn't there for six years of my life because he was traveling. He would visit a few times a year then leave again, and theres this certain memory that pops into my mind and it's when they was a father and daughter rave at my kindergarten one year and I kept calling for him but he never came and obviously didn't understand at the time. So I watched all my friends race with their dad and wishing mine was there too. It just hurts so fricking much. Anyways that's my rant. All done. I'm gonna so this more often I guess.
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