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tealSea9607
478 M Embraced 4
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2023 Member sinceFebruary 6, 2023
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Been involved in an emotional affair
Relationship Stress / by tealSea9607
Last post
 October 27th, 2023
...See more I'm not here to look for sympathy, but more looking to see if anyone else has ever been involved in a similar situation and how you handled it. I have been in an emotional affair for almost 4 years. I'm in the process of breaking it off, with much heartbreak for all parties involved. I'm separated from my husband as he knows about the affair and I know I betrayed him. My affair partner and I started out as very close friends which happened very quickly, within a month of meeting. I tried very hard not to cross any lines with this friend, but we both very quickly realized we had an unusual connection and kinship. He repeatedly pulled me in closer with kind words, being there for me during difficult times (when my husband was not) and telling me things like he thinks we are soulmates and I'm the one. He was also in a long term relationship that was long distance through most of our friendship. Most of our friendship was through messages, phone calls, watching shows together, but we did cross an intimacy line . He wanted to come visit me in December, but I declined as my guilt and regrets were really starting to take a toll. Again in January, he talked about how we are soulmates and again we shared intimate fantasies and photos/videos. About 2 weeks ago he started acting strange, not responding very much despite us talking all day every day for years from good morning to good night. I asked him what's going on and he said he's moving in with his gf and getting married very soon. Although my situation has already taken a toll and my marriage is dissolving because of my actions, his fiancee does not know about our situation. I asked him to please think about being honest with her and seek therapy as I'm doing now. I also told him it is time for us to part ways. He refused to tell his fiancee, not surprising as it would possibly ruin his future relationship and denies he needs therapy. I'm now realizing that maybe he isn't the person I thought he was despite being there for me for many years. The confusion about everything in my head is real. We have continued to talk and hang out, but I had a breakdown yesterday and told him we are over, we can't talk anymore, that I'm seeking therapy as should he. He just thanked me for all the years of our relationship and said he won't reach out to me anymore, but will always be there for me if I decide to reach out. Has anyone else gone through something similar and how did you end it once and for all. I know I need to just completely cut contact, but this person has been my rock for so long. It's like cutting off a limb. Any advice or shared stories are welcome. Again, not looking for sympathy, just how to move forward.
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