Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
terribleterrafirma
1 372 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts70 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2025 Member sinceAugust 3, 2025
Bio

Uhm, hi everyone. I'm mostly just testing out the waters right now.

Ask me anything, I guess, I might answer.

I like reading, writing, drawing, indie shows, and my cat. I'm happy to chat.

Recent forum posts
terribleterrafirma profile picture
Hormone crash?
Self-Harm Recovery / by terribleterrafirma
Last post
 August 25th, 2025
...See more Okay, I need to know if anyone else experiences this(I'm sure I'm not the only one but seriously, I need confirmation). TW: SH and C-19 mention. So for a while I've noticed this pattern; I'm hanging out with friends, or just in general I'm having a bunch of fun. I'm genuinely happy, excited, or some positive emotion. But later once I'm all alone, I feel this heavy.. weight almost, like I have such strong negative emotions, and this is coming from a person that doesn't experience many emotions ever since I contracted Covid. I used to be a regular person, a little extroverted even, but now after Covid, its like it changed my personality almost entirely. I still feel like me, but I'm quieter. I keep things to myself, things I shouldn't. I feel less emotion, sometimes I feel nothing even. So after experiencing the dopamine high or whatever that concoction of happy hormones are, it's like I crash, hardcore, and I don't know what to do with the negative emotions, or sometimes lackthereof, and I take it out on myself. Sometimes it doesn't even take the 'dopamine high' for the crash, sometimes it's something I do, or something I don't do. Like my boss will say something and I'll over anylize it and come to the conclusion he hates me, hates my work and wants to fire me so I panic, get angry at myself because I'm not good enough and I hurt myself. So yeah.. I ranted a bit, sorry about that. But if anyone else has experienced what I've explained or if you know what the bleep is wrong with my brain, please, I'm so tired of hiding the scars. It raises way too much anxiety all the time cause sometimes I'm convinced someone knows but they're just not saying anything cause they want me to confess or something.. Anyway, thanks for reading, drink water, be safe, someone loves you❤️
terribleterrafirma profile picture
I don't know what I'm doing.
Self-Harm Recovery / by terribleterrafirma
Last post
 August 4th, 2025
...See more Hey guys and gals. I don't know what I'm doing. I've never known what I'm supposed to do and I feel lost in the dark. I've struggled with SH for about a year now. I'm not used to talking about it. I'm pretty sure I've never even said the words out loud before. I've avoided telling my friends and family for reasons I won't get into right now, for I'm afraid if I do I'll go on this long tangent and lose track of where I was going. Recently it feels like my sister, who I live with, has started treating me.. differently. She's constantly worried about me and has high anxiety all the time it seems. I'm terrified I've started slipping and that she's seen the scars on my legs. They're fairly obvious, and can't be explained away like the ones on my arms. I stopped SH on my arms shortly after I started, but the scars still seem so obvious to me. I started having dreams that they've seen them and I wake up petrified that I'll have to confront them later. I do not want my family, or anyone in my life, really, to know but recently its almost like I desperately do want someone to know. I've come so close to telling my brother, who I'm closest with, but stopped myself everytime. I don't want him to treat me different, which I know he will despite his efforts not to. So I can't tell anyone. I joined 7 Cups for this reason. I need advice. I need help. It's easier to talk to people on a screen versus in person. Easier to ask for help. Why am I even considering posting this? Everytime I think about reaching out my brain screams that I just want attention, that I'm being dramatic and so many others have it way worse than I do and I have no reason to be the way I am. Which I partially believe. So many others do have it worse than me, but am I really seeking attention? I don't know anymore. I really don't have a reason for being the way that I am. I was raised in a good Christian household, loving parents, and great siblings. Sure we have issues, but not more than any other family. There were some events in my younger life that could have caused this, but who can really be sure? If I go to a therapist my family will surely find out. And that brings me back to why I'm even posting this. Validation? No. But maybe some part of me just wants to be acknowledged. To know that this is real. To admit to myself that I need help. Maybe this is the first step to healing. Side note: whoa, did I just vent? I've never done that before. It feels kinda good. I should do this more often. Also, thanks for reading. I hope you find peace and love in your life❤️
Search more from @terribleterrafirma
Talk to an expert therapist
Sarah Robb is an LICDC (Licensed Independent Chemical Dependency Counselor)....
Talk to Sarah Now
Badges & Awards
9 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Helpful heart Bundled Group Friend Forum Friend
Report an issue