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unassumingEyes
6 130,718 M Soaring Heights 5
PathStep 73 Compassion hearts17,080 Forum posts5,978 Forum upvotes9,969 Current upvotes9,969 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceDecember 25, 2023
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crazy enough to live. 



Recent forum posts
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My Grief Hurts Them
Grief & Loss / by unassumingEyes
Last post
 October 16th
...See more Tw grief etc Long story short I lost a family member in a horrible and tragic incident over an year ago The thing I hate most bout my grief is that when I meet said family member's immediate family I'm just completely bombarded by the same grief, sorrow and lingering horror. I try so hard not to but I look at them and I just remember. My voice shakes, my heart beats faster and I feel like im trembling all over What I hate is that they can probably see it. That I keep reminding them of their loss and pain– which is infinitely greater than my own– that I'm not strong enough to have our relationships be the exact same as before. That I might be ruining those relationships by making the atmosphere tense and awkward, not by words but by the body language I cant seem to control If anyone has any tips on how to get a handle on this– to see my family first and the grief that haunts us second– I'd really appreciate it.
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A Discussion On Genuineness and A Confession
General Support / by unassumingEyes
Last post
 October 8th
...See more ***long post***  Its not a habit of mine to make posts like these, so I hope yall will bear with this one, and not find it overly boring or ridiculous. I'll start with the confession part of it, since that must have raised some eyebrows. Confession: Someday I will leave cups. It might be soon. In a few months. In an year. A decade later. I don't know and I can't say. But I know its something that will happen, one way or another, and I know I want it to be a deliberate, conscious choice on my part, and I know that theres a good chance it'll be soon, too. Thats the truth. And that sucks for a couple of reasons, most obviously the fact that I have to leave behind some really lovely people and friends who stuck by me through thick and thin, and theres something a little cruel about that. But another downside of leaving that I've been thinking about recently is that the real world is no where near as genuine as cups. And you might be going: eyes, that is the most naive thing I've ever heard you say. Fair enough. The internet is filled with liars and fakers, and assuming cups is different is naive. Thats not what I'm doing. I'm not talking honesty as much as I am genuineness. In real life, people weigh the pros and cons of being genuine. Sometimes they arent genuine out of kindness, like pretending something you cooked tastes great when they want to throw it down the drain. Other times its because of something more greedy or power-hungry, like in politics or abusive relationship. And sometimes its just the smart thing to do, or the safe thing. We call it tact, which is a very nice and neat way of putting things without acknowleding how fragile it all really is. Am I yapping? I'll try to be more concise. Irl, there are a lot of factors that affect how genuine we are: stigma, social pressure and prejudice are some that come to mind. Cups can not completely eradicate these, but it does a good job of minimizing it. Everyone here is notably and undeniably human, and imo even those few who do lie or fake things here are still genuine in their emotions (or lack thereof!), if only because of the anonymity and the safe rules cups enforces. Because 7Cups so carefully invites vulnerability, so it invites genuineness. And thats something I think most of us crave. When we get a bit of that here, we want more, and end up immersing ourselves in this community that is so similar and yet so different to the ones founded offline. And this is good. Until we have to leave. When I think about genuineness, I think: no one irl really, truly loves me, because no one irl really truly knows me. The version of me that they do love doesnt exist anymore, if she ever did. And its not their fault they dont know me because I dont show me, but its not my fault that I dont show me because it isnt safe for me to do so. Because of stigma, social pressure, prejudice. When I leave cups I will be the only person who knows who I am. And I will be the only person who I really know. And that scares me.
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Request to All Parents/Guardians
General Support / by unassumingEyes
Last post
 October 4th
...See more This is random, but parents/guardians:  Please, please, please believe your kids.  I know, okay? Kids lie to get out of things. Kids lie for fun. Kids lie because theyre dumb half the time. And dealing w that and trying not to encourage it is exhausting. I know.  But I am *so tired* of seeing parents assume their kid is lying or exaggerating about some issue when its 100% real. Even with teenagers, or maybe especially, i dont know. It happens all the time: with me, with cousins, with friends, with random teens: the same story.  A cousin of mine had to spend weeks convincing his parents to take them to the doctor. Ended up getting several operations. I spent three years pushing to get an eye test. These are only 2 examples from many more.  Yes, your kid might be lying. Yes, your kid might be panicking about something small. But you should not be an obstacle your kid has to fight to get the help they need.  Give them the benefit of the doubt. Please. Even if theyre lying, they will always remember that you believed and trusted them. 
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Writing advice?
Reading & Writing / by unassumingEyes
Last post
 September 23rd
...See more Hey all!  Ive been writing a book and Im only 3 chapters in, but I feel like the character's maturity is progressing too fast? Like the main character arc is going faster than planned, im practically a quarter way through and I want the book to be atleast more than 20 chapters in total.  I've been working on this for literally years, so I'm pretty hesitant about changing anything in the three chapters Ive gotten done, but at the same time, I want to do this right. And that includes pacing.  Any tips for how I can fix this? Im not expecting miracles but even a little support would be appreciated xD 
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There is a spider on the wall.
Poetry / by unassumingEyes
Last post
 August 16th
...See more Tw– spiders ------------------------- There is a spider on the wall. I never could stand them; spiders– Their limbs too long, too gangly, too much, Their slow crawl, the way they Advance forwards, unconcerned of their tininess Killing them would be easy– A spray of water. A thrown shoe. But I am weak at heart, and— In another world, I am a spider. I hold too much cowardice to approach, To slip them outside in safety. Anyways, a friend told me they can not Survive it– they are house spiders for a reason. I let the spider be— I let the spider and the spiders be and The others; they say there are too many And you must kill them when you see them And I lie: I do, the same vows One would say in a wedding, turned False confession. And you must get rid Of these spiders, I know a way, they advise And there are so many it scares me, So I look away, still a child— Invisible when my eyes are closed. You must get rid of the spiders, they say And I don't know how to tell them That I am All Tied Up. 
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Just a...reminder?
General Support / by unassumingEyes
Last post
 July 23rd
...See more Hey all! This is just because I keep getting notifications of being tagged but cant open those posts. Thing is, i just aged up in May. And now I cant see the Teen Forums, because I've been deemed too old by The Cups xD. So when Im tagged there, I cant see the post or reply or just...do anything about it. So, if youre a teen and have tagged me in teen land and youre wondering whats up with that, im not ignoring anyone! I simply cant see those posts anymore 😮‍💨 Thats all! 
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In Loving Memory of Apple Juice
Pen Pals / by unassumingEyes
Last post
 September 28th
...See more @amiablebunny4016 My dear friend four-zero-one-six, I've aged up, as I warned you of. Naturally I cant see our chats anymore. I suppose you can't, either. I want you to know that this "growing up" im doing does not indicate a "moving on" from our friendship. We are still bunny-and-eyes. You are still, and always will be, important.  And loved. Bunny, when you sent me that message, I said "how dare you". I say it again now– how dare you make me navigate these uncharted waters alone? How dare you try and turn bunny-and-eyes to just -eyes? Did you doubt my care for you– or was it merely insufficient? Angry questions, questions I cant fully mean. How can I, when I have done the same thing? Isnt that when you first messaged me? Maybe you didnt save my life, but you did save my soul. I dont want to– violate your privacy here. What happened in our chats stays in our chats, yes? But i hope you'll read between the lines. I hope you'll read this at all, and someday, respond. To the loveliest bunny I have had the privilege to meet and befriend, I miss you.  🤍
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The child that is fear
Reading & Writing / by unassumingEyes
Last post
 May 2nd
...See more You throw parties and don't invite it, but it sneaks in anyways; the unwanted child. And most of the time you yell at it, or try to keep it away with the weapons your therapist equips you with, weapons like deep breathing and grounding and all those things that you don't believe in but are desperate enough to try. You don't yell at it, today, or grab your weapons, because you have made a mistake and looked into fear's eyes, and seen your own soul glittering back at you through them. Perhaps it is this that weakens your rage against it, or perhaps you know what it is like to be the unwanted child yourself, but today you pick it up and hold it close, this being you have inadvertently created, and party on as though nothing has changed at all. You get looks, ofcourse, pitying ones and ones of genuine sympathy, and some try to take the child away from you, well-meaning friends and family, but you hold it close, almost protectively, and watch them shake their heads in arrogant concern. The child that is fear frightens at each of these attempts, but inevitably quietens once you two are left to be. Your arms tire, as they are wont to do, and you feel your resolve weaken. The day is darkening. The party is over. The child is asleep. You breathe, properly this time, and lay it aside with blankets and old toys you haven't seen in years and years, remnants of love and hope now long lost. You sing a lullaby, and sleep takes you in her arms, gentle and motherly, and you are the child that is fear and the one who holds it, and you are stronger than you realize.
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