A Discussion On Genuineness and A Confession
***long post***
Its not a habit of mine to make posts like these, so I hope yall will bear with this one, and not find it overly boring or ridiculous. I'll start with the confession part of it, since that must have raised some eyebrows.
Confession: Someday I will leave cups.
It might be soon. In a few months. In an year. A decade later. I don't know and I can't say. But I know its something that will happen, one way or another, and I know I want it to be a deliberate, conscious choice on my part, and I know that theres a good chance it'll be soon, too. Thats the truth.
And that sucks for a couple of reasons, most obviously the fact that I have to leave behind some really lovely people and friends who stuck by me through thick and thin, and theres something a little cruel about that. But another downside of leaving that I've been thinking about recently is that the real world is no where near as genuine as cups.
And you might be going: eyes, that is the most naive thing I've ever heard you say. Fair enough. The internet is filled with liars and fakers, and assuming cups is different is naive. Thats not what I'm doing. I'm not talking honesty as much as I am genuineness.
In real life, people weigh the pros and cons of being genuine. Sometimes they arent genuine out of kindness, like pretending something you cooked tastes great when they want to throw it down the drain. Other times its because of something more greedy or power-hungry, like in politics or abusive relationship. And sometimes its just the smart thing to do, or the safe thing. We call it tact, which is a very nice and neat way of putting things without acknowleding how fragile it all really is.
Am I yapping? I'll try to be more concise. Irl, there are a lot of factors that affect how genuine we are: stigma, social pressure and prejudice are some that come to mind. Cups can not completely eradicate these, but it does a good job of minimizing it. Everyone here is notably and undeniably human, and imo even those few who do lie or fake things here are still genuine in their emotions (or lack thereof!), if only because of the anonymity and the safe rules cups enforces.
Because 7Cups so carefully invites vulnerability, so it invites genuineness. And thats something I think most of us crave. When we get a bit of that here, we want more, and end up immersing ourselves in this community that is so similar and yet so different to the ones founded offline. And this is good.
Until we have to leave.
When I think about genuineness, I think: no one irl really, truly loves me, because no one irl really truly knows me. The version of me that they do love doesnt exist anymore, if she ever did. And its not their fault they dont know me because I dont show me, but its not my fault that I dont show me because it isnt safe for me to do so. Because of stigma, social pressure, prejudice.
When I leave cups I will be the only person who knows who I am. And I will be the only person who I really know.
And that scares me.
Tagging a few people but all welcome
@jesusredeemedme2425 (also can you tag some others? either way tagging you xD) @MacyLou82 @amiablebunny4016 (call this a shot in the dark but I hadta try!)
I'd appreciate any thoughts on this, like at all whatever pops in your head I'd like to hear it. Thanks for reading and being here 🤍
@ShadowFaerie @unassumingEyes @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @sadcat13 @Amanda84 @goldenduckling @mytwistedsoul @Tinywhisper11 @LovemyMoonflowers @GreenLime3141 @7Bear7 @Phoenixthepoised @Torean @GentleHealingInitiative @cyanessence @YourCaringConfidant @CaringEzra @fossilfellow @BastionKnight @trueconfidant123 @safeplace288 @lovingCat6978 @reservedOwl321 @dapperNest2125 @Creamyyy @naturesbeauty1234 @bubbleSummer9800 @warmheartedHuman836 @Mansbestfriend @Paliloveyourself @Magicpawsoffuture @SelfCareMatters @sabeyesofblue3535 @AiluraTheCat @charmingApple8098 @luvArisu @BlueDarkAurora @curiousbookishness @sympatheticPlace3743 @musawva @KindleMissie @WellsFiction @Angelanj @SunshineJazz @LexListens2025 @Heather225 @agreeableSkies9889 @HopeAura @rainbowBridge46 @sereneMango2512 @SmackyMcGee
I’m adding a taglist to start, but this post is open to absolutely everyone! <3
Wait, but... Why are you leaving? Im confused... Don't leave me :'(
@jesusredeemedme2425
Tw
Where I live, the stigma about mental health stuff is so bad that most people casually insult people going through mental illnesses etc. There are laws punishing certain type of talk or attempts on one's life. All of this – plus my own family's attitude – means that my being on this site is a big risk for me, one that I have been taking for nearly 3 years now. But i cant go on like this forever, yknow?
Why are people like this :'(
@unassumingEyes
Well you make some excellent points. Vulnerability and being genuine helps nurture a only community like 7cups.. it's definitely missed offline and it will affect you eyes..
Many come and go on this website, as nothing is ever permanent anyways. I hope you return someday and reunite with some of the people who have impacted you and you enjoy.. I enjoyed your post,
Thank you for being part of the 7cups experience..🌲
@unassumingEyes
It is very understandable to be scared; it can feel so much easier to show aspects of oneself when there is little to no risk due the anonymous nature of the platform. For those who find it difficult (or impossible) to share their inner world irl, it is a comfort to be able to show what is under the mask without actually removing the mask. Leaving the support of a place where you are encouraged and validated to the big wide world where relationships can be fraught, transactional, or just simply mean IS scary. Even when people irl are kind or caring, it is a very different experience than one has here on cups. So I am sure many of us can sympathise with your worries Unassuming eyes. It is not a pleasant thought to consider that people might not get to see the real you and that it might feel impossible to show them....But it might be different to what one fears. We can never truly know who we will meet along out path...and I hope that you do encounter many who might see you and treat you with kindness and respect so that you are not worried that they see the you that was only shown in the private and anonymous sphere of Cups
We move on. If leaving cups is part of that journey, then it is something to be celebrated. The memories you have and the things you learnt whilst on Cups travel with you, and you remain in the hearts and minds of those whom you meant something to here on Cups. Undoubtedly you may miss people and they you...but that too is something to smile about, knowing that you meant something to someone and forged connections with nothing more than text and open hearts. That is a remarkable and special thing...if it wasn't, it wouldn't sting on parting.
And once again, we do not know the future...waving goodbye does not necessarily mean goodbye forever. There is nothing written in stone to say that leaving cups is closing the door for good.
Do what you feel is right and what is best for you. Those who care about you will understand and cheer for you even if it makes their hearts ache. Go team you!
@BastionKnight
Your reply is the kindest thing. It makes me feel very comforted, and I know I will revisit it when I make my decision– whenever that is– to try and get over this fear of mine. I too hope of finding someone who I can be "me" around– only I'm not confident in that hope.
But eitherway I'll know that I was me, here. And that people liked that me. And thats something very precious and comforting
I hope not to leave soon, genuinely, because I care so very deeply for this community, and especially for certain people here, and that is special. I wish circumstances were different enough that I'd never have to leave, but I know thats not my reality
Whenever I do leave, I wont be deleting my account, so that if ever I am lucky enough to return, I may as Cups own eyes.
Thank you for replying 🤍
@unassumingEyes
If anything I said helped or brought comfort, I am very happy to hear it. I understand the trepidation of not thinking it likely that anyone might see the real you, but I am hoping the world will surprise you pleasantly.
*Bows respectfully*
@unassumingEyes
You are safe and treasured here and believed 💛
@Amanda84
🤍🤍 thank you 🫂