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wenna06
5,408 M Moving Along
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts78 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2024 Member sinceMarch 24, 2021
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Don’t know what to do
Eating Disorder Support / by wenna06
Last post
 May 9th, 2021
...See more Basically my parents found out about my disordered eating habits and I just got yelled at yesterday. I know my mom didn’t mean to yell at me, but I guess that’s the tough love she’s always shown. They comforted me too and told me to stop. The thing is, I know they care, but I don’t think they really get what’s going through my mind everyday. They can’t seem to understand why I have such a low self esteem and why that made me care about food and weight so much. For the past week, I have been making food for myself because I was scared of not knowing what’s in everything and the calorie amount. They forbid me from making my own meals now. They also made me stop tracking calories. I know this is all for the best, but I just feel... so lost? Out of control? Yesterday I thought I’d be fine without all this calorie stuff and making meals was a pain anyways. I didn’t think my disordered eating was that bad. That is until I cried over seeing the amount of oil on my sandwich my grandma made me for breakfast just now... If it was the me back then I would’ve ate it so fast because it’s delicious. Now I don’t even feel like eating it. I’m still imagining the amount of calories inside my head even though I deleted the calorie tracker I’m trying so hard not to redownload it right now. Is this really the right way to get better? I’m not sure, but this is all I can do.
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Disordered eating I think?
Eating Disorder Support / by wenna06
Last post
 April 26th, 2021
...See more I really don’t know what to do at this point. A bit of the context is I’ve been called “fat” by my family whole life. So much to the point I thought it didn’t get to me anymore. Well, that is until the point I started trying to lose weight. I think I lost around 6 pounds? Which I know isn’t a lot but it was huge for me. However, I started getting obsessive and counted every single little calorie and getting stressed when I would go over the budget (which happened often because my family keeps feeding me). I stopped losing weight and at one point I started binging. At first it was only a couple times and now it became multiple times a week. I pretty much gained all the weight back that I had lost which made me really upset at myself. Recently I finally had a talk with my parents and they were trying to help. They told me to stop restricting and eat at moderation. But the thing is, I can’t. I keep on thinking of food and won’t stop till I give in. Once I start, I can’t stop till it’s all gone. And once it’s gone I just end up repeating with another food. I would even ignore my fullness and just keep eating till I feel sick. Then I would just lay there thinking “why did I let it get to this point in the first place” and hate myself. It’s becoming a cycle and repeating more and more often and getting worse. In fact, I even started thinking about purging because I felt so sick I just wanted to it stop. But I know that it will just get addicting and make things worse so I don’t, And I just suffer with how full I feel. But now I keep thinking these types of thoughts more and more often and I’m really scared... I don’t know what to do and how to make things better.
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