Disordered eating I think?

I really don’t know what to do at this point. A bit of the context is I’ve been called “fat” by my family whole life. So much to the point I thought it didn’t get to me anymore. Well, that is until the point I started trying to lose weight. I think I lost around 6 pounds? Which I know isn’t a lot but it was huge for me. However, I started getting obsessive and counted every single little calorie and getting stressed when I would go over the budget (which happened often because my family keeps feeding me). I stopped losing weight and at one point I started binging. At first it was only a couple times and now it became multiple times a week. I pretty much gained all the weight back that I had lost which made me really upset at myself. Recently I finally had a talk with my parents and they were trying to help. They told me to stop restricting and eat at moderation. But the thing is, I can’t. I keep on thinking of food and won’t stop till I give in. Once I start, I can’t stop till it’s all gone. And once it’s gone I just end up repeating with another food. I would even ignore my fullness and just keep eating till I feel sick. Then I would just lay there thinking “why did I let it get to this point in the first place” and hate myself. It’s becoming a cycle and repeating more and more often and getting worse. In fact, I even started thinking about purging because I felt so sick I just wanted to it stop. But I know that it will just get addicting and make things worse so I don’t, And I just suffer with how full I feel. But now I keep thinking these types of thoughts more and more often and I’m really scared... I don’t know what to do and how to make things better.