Don’t know what to do
Basically my parents found out about my disordered eating habits and I just got yelled at yesterday. I know my mom didn’t mean to yell at me, but I guess that’s the tough love she’s always shown. They comforted me too and told me to stop. The thing is, I know they care, but I don’t think they really get what’s going through my mind everyday. They can’t seem to understand why I have such a low self esteem and why that made me care about food and weight so much. For the past week, I have been making food for myself because I was scared of not knowing what’s in everything and the calorie amount. They forbid me from making my own meals now. They also made me stop tracking calories. I know this is all for the best, but I just feel... so lost? Out of control? Yesterday I thought I’d be fine without all this calorie stuff and making meals was a pain anyways. I didn’t think my disordered eating was that bad. That is until I cried over seeing the amount of oil on my sandwich my grandma made me for breakfast just now... If it was the me back then I would’ve ate it so fast because it’s delicious. Now I don’t even feel like eating it. I’m still imagining the amount of calories inside my head even though I deleted the calorie tracker I’m trying so hard not to redownload it right now. Is this really the right way to get better? I’m not sure, but this is all I can do.
Hi there, I am no helper but I just wanna say. Don’t download the calories tracking app. It’s honestly for your best because the more you think about “how much do I weigh” or “How many calories is this?” The more stress your putting on yourself. It’s gunna take you a while but we’re all here to help ya! And remember that having a good diet could also mean small meals 4-5 times a day rather than 3 big meals. It might help.
Thank you for the advice :) It’s still hard eating normally and I often under eat and/or over eat. I still thinking about calories, but it’s less than before. I haven’t reinstalled it yet, and I’m hoping to keep it that way... Thanks for saying that you’re all here to help. I really appreciate it. I’m trying to look on the bright side and tell myself that I don’t need to lose weight right now. I think the biggest thing is that my mind is still telling me I should lose weight. I’m gonna try to focus on healthy eating more than that from now on.
