Overcoming Valentine’s Day Depression

As soon as February begins and Valentine’s Day approaches, we may feel it is all a season associated with lots of romance and moments of affection between couples. Whilst it’s a particularly difficult day for those who feel unhappy in relationships and those who are single there are five positive ways to foster resilience in mental health. Use Mindfulness, Self-love, Engage with your family and friendship circle, and Journal Writing as your own personal therapy. These are five mental health tips for Valentine’s Day.

How To Deal With Valentine’s Day Depression

Do you relate to glorifying how romantic relationships are portrayed in the media? Depression can be characterized by significant feelings of guilt, irritability, worthlessness, low energy, and a loss of interest in things that were once interesting to you. It may impact our mood and ability to feel satisfied and hence may affect our daily routine as well as relationships. Do you find that something is missing in your current relationship? While relying on “short-term relief remedies” like alcohol and drugs to wash out the emotional pain in order to cope with what you are going through may come to mind, there are other tips you can use to feel better. Maybe you regretted how you communicated with your significant other or maybe you are unhappy with how they are communicating with you? Try practicing positive self-talk to overcome your Valentine’s Day depression. Cheer yourself on! You are doing the best you can! Do not generalize everything - one person’s thoughts and feelings do not reflect the entire world view of you.

In fact, spending Valentine’s Day alone and celebrating yourself with flowers and candy (or anything you like) is not a bad idea either. Is there an expectation that you should be in a relationship? An article titled “Romance Scams Cost $281M, FBI Warns As Valentine’s Day Nears” established that older people who are likely to have experienced negative times (e.g. losing a job, bereavement of a spouse) are preyed on in terms of online romance scams. As much as you want to fill that void of loneliness, skepticism is a great defense mechanism to apply in many ways. Can you spot … if the person claims that you both are brought together by “fate” or “destiny” … if the person lies about where they are from if the person reappears under a different name? Keeping these signs in mind, it’s important to shield yourself from Valentine’s day scammers by avoiding sharing personal details (e.g. financial information, banking card, credit card, social security number), and sending money. Take a good look at the person’s profile info. Have they used a celebrity profile pic? Do keep in mind if the image they have had has been used elsewhere.

This article explores the mental health tips you can use to overcome Valentine’s Day challenges. These tips can be used to support yourself during the heartbreak process, and can also serve as ideas on how to be kind to yourself during the journey before you find romantic love.

Work On Your Relationship With Yourself

It’s natural to want to put your best effort into a relationship or get into the dating world. Ask yourself if you are overly concerned about how your significant other views you. Do you think disagreeing will hurt your partner’s feelings? Before you can give your best in a relationship, exploring the relationship you have with yourself matters. How accepting are you of your limitations and how confident are you in the amazing qualities you have? You matter. Let others know you do too! The best way to boost self-esteem comes from finding joy and acceptance within ourselves.

Turn Off Social Media

Whether or not you had a rough end or a civil end of a relationship, are you actively looking at their social media? Are you asking yourself have they moved on when you see they are with a new person? Research has shown that among young Americans aged 18-29, approximately 70% have checked up on their ex via social media as mentioned in a report by The Pew Research Center.

With social media being a large part of our lives, it may be hard to not check for updates in such situations. However, a research study has found that we use sites like Instagram differently at various points of our relationships. This behavior seems to affect our satisfaction as well as conflicts. Checking for new messages, other user opinions, and conversations can lead to disappointment as well as impact our social media usage patterns. Therefore, it may be a good idea to either block contacts or take a social media break to prevent this cycle that adds pressure into the moving on mix.

The gratitude within can feel diminished when you are in that circle of using social media as a guide to what you should expect from relationships. Research conducted in 2018 has summarised a few personal experiences of the negatives of social media believing you have to be the “greatest”, “newest”, “best version of everything” highlighting that increased time on social media increases that self-doubt within (Social Media Use and its Impact on Relationships and Emotions).

Spend Time With Loved Ones

Sometimes in relationships, people can need time apart when there are feelings of jealousy involved. An article in the Inquiries Journal, written in 2017 mentioned insecurity in romantic relationships is predisposed differently in men versus women with men being more jealous of sexual infidelity from their girlfriend/wife and women being more jealous of emotional infidelity from their boyfriend/husband. You can communicate with a friend who has had the experience of relationships not going well and seek reassurance from them. Have a good day out with friends, spending time on activities you both enjoy like art, music, watching films! You can also consider spending time with your parents or other family members. While this may be a change from the 1-on-1 time you may have enjoyed with a partner, spending time with others may help you cope with the stress that comes with all those hard memories.

Treat Yourself

Feeling unloved and unwanted? Treat yourself to your favorite food you like to eat. Add color to your life by engaging in decorating your home office. Regardless of your relationship status, the relationship you have with yourself deserves attention. Self-care is important and can also often be the first step when healing from a breakup. Treat yourself to a heart box of chocolates and a teddy bear. Listen to songs to empower you like “Shout out to my Ex”, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Write valentines day cards together with friend’s who are single - this activity with your single friends may be a creative way to handle one of the days of the year that come with hard reminders! Maybe you are interested in astrology? Learn more about yourself by learning about your natal chart. All these ideas can be used to distract from and spend difficult times in a more relaxed manner.

Write a Self-Love Journal Entry

Can you relate to being hyper-focused on the negative after a break-up or feeling like you are missing out as you’ve never been in a relationship before? Your love life does not need to be limited to having a romantic partner. Why you matter is important just as much as why others matter. Positively challenge yourself. You’re not bad you know? Explore one thing you like about yourself and why. Name three things you are grateful for today. What would you include in a reassuring note to yourself as a gentle reminder to take care? Self-love can help boost your self-esteem and ensure you feel compassion and acceptance for yourself.

“Others are prettier, smarter, and more intelligent than me.” Are you guilty of comparing yourself to others? You are not to blame for being single. As they say, variety is the spice of life! What does not attract one person, attracts another person. You are uniquely you.

Learn More with 7 Cups

Look to the future. Although things don’t seem all red heart fire emojis when someone breaks your heart, you will grow in a different way when you meet someone who matches your personality and is supportive of your dreams and goals. The 7 Cups community invites you to show appreciation for yourself and others. You are not alone. Feel welcome to connect with others in the free group chatrooms or forums. You can also connect with a trained, active listener for support. If you struggle with anxiety or are having a difficult time recovering from heartbreak, please do not hesitate to communicate with one of our amazing counselors or therapists - we all provide compassionate support for you online 24/7.

For more support, join our empathetic community, chat with a free, trained listener, make progress through a community-driven growth path or start affordable online therapy today.

Biography

GoldenRuleJG is a psychology graduate with a strong passion for psychology, mental health and counselling. She enjoys multiple roles in the 7 Cups community as a volunteer listener, writer, editor, chatroom supporter and mentor amongst others. As a lifelong learner, she has been enthusiastic about learning diverse skills and has successfully completed the Group Leadership Dynamics and Development (GLDD) and internship programs at the 7 Cups Academy.