24 and lost.
I’m 24 and I feel so lost. I don’t really have friends I talk to often, only a couple long distance friends. My boyfriend is like my best friend and it feels lonely sometimes when he goes out with his friends. I’m getting ready to move away and be on my own and I just feel so scared because I have no one. I feel like I’ll fold because of the loneliness and I can’t be clingy to my boyfriend. I have family too but I’m distant from them because they’re toxic and untrustworthy. I just feel like I haven’t found myself yet and everyday it really hangs on me.
any advice on how to “find” myself or learn how to love being alone? I’m really looking forward to developing myself.
on top of this, I have the freedom to move wherever I want to but I have no idea where. I just know to Florida.
@porschegirl The most important relationship you’ll have is with yourself. Some rhetorical questions. How does one develop self compassion? Is it possible to enjoy a day doing something without someone else? How might I build new acquaintances and possibly friendships? And perhaps the most important question to ask yourself is, why the he ll would anyone want to move to Florida? Haha, scratch that last question, just kidding. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you so much. I’d love to chat sometime. And ha! I know right! Well, it’d be nice to be bronze all year round. Lol.
@porschegirl
It is not such a bad thing to be 'Bronze' all year.
Having grown up in South Florida, I miss that 'Bronzeness'. The very best of luck to you, 'PorscheGirl'.
Hey, Porschegirl.
First, being a similar age, I can see why you could feel lost. This stage in life feels so off, where we’ve finished our child stage, but there still isn’t enough structure to feel like fully-fledged adults. It’s like we’re caught in between life stages, a twilight zone if you will. The antidote to this is to enjoy life as it comes to you, and also have hope that things will work out in the end. I can promise you that it won’t work out exactly the way you expect, but that’s okay, life’s like that.
I’ve never been in a romantic relationship, so congrats on finding someone who makes you feel safe and happy. I get what you mean when you say you feel lonely when he’s gone. I tend to feel really lonely right after saying goodbye to friends. What I would say is that I’m glad you are trying to be self-sufficient, it’s really admirable and courageous, all the power to you. But in the meantime, don’t be afraid to communicate with your boyfriend about your feelings and feel like you can lean on him a bit from time to time. It’s ok to want comfort out of this relationship because you are a worthy part of this relationship. Just make sure you communicate your needs with him, and he will likely try his best to help you when he can.
One last thing I’ll add is that instead of trying to find yourself, try finding others in you. It will lead to you seeing the good in people and admiring them, and you will grow stronger in those relationships; you will become more like the people you admire. With that, surround yourself with people that make you happy. But as far as your family, they will always be your family, so you have to love them no matter what, whatever that looks like or means to you, such as loving them from afar.
Well, that’s my two cents, take it with a pinch of salt. Regardless, much love, best of luck!
-Blue
I am also struggling with this, sort of.
I'm also 24. And feel like my boyfriend is my only friend often. When we are having issues (luckily not often) I have also struggled with the feeling of isolation.
I'm also at a point where I'm thinking about moving further out but am afraid I'll end up more stressed without knowing I'll have supports.
I will say I think both of us are capable of making that move. You might not have the friends there yet and that can be intimidating, but I think everyone has to start somewhere.
Think of it like joining a new school, but instead it's a new community. You'll be able to live it and have a few adventures of your own. That's the only way to find peace in being on your own at least I think.
