Advice Needed
How do you leave a toxic with relationship where you still deeply love & care for the other person?
@modestOak9618
may I ask why you think it is toxic?
@AnonymousCowboy I believe it is toxic because she has put her hands on me multiple times, calls me every name you could think of screaming & yelling in my face rather than speaking rationally, commands me to do things “or else”, when I try to get out of the relationship or block her she calls me non-stop on random numbers threatening to end her life, constantly accusing me of things & when I try to talk to her about I’m “lying” and the list goes on. If there is another word for this please, let me know.
@modestOak9618
@modestOak9618
You bite the bullet, say its over and leave and don't look back, no matter the sadness or any explanations. Hard? Yes. Worth it? You bet it is.
Jealousy over that? Weird in my eyes, not a thing to be jealous of but proud.
Reading your explanation in the comments. This is a crazy lady, manipulator. Id leave.
@modestOak9618 for me it came down to realizing I was stuck in the id rather be stuck in a beautiful lie than to live in an ugly truth. It was never what I thought it was in my head or what I created. I believed the person was what they had shown me in the beginning and that's what our relationship was built on but when that person unmasked themselves I continued on with my delusion that it was what it always has been. In reality it was and never can be that. Once they show who they really are you are essentially now with an entirely different person you may not be compatible with. So two choices one create a new life by recognizing that things will never be what they was ever again and erase it from your memory, otherwise you will be constantly comparing the new relationship with what used to be and it will never stack up. Or two realize that you are delaying the inevitable. If both people aren't willing to put in the work because it really will take both people putting in the work in order to succeed. At that point leave and cut all contact or you will be haunted with the thought of your old memories and you will end up breaking and contacting her then you have to go through that pain again. Its going to hurt now or later. It's inevitable there's no avoiding this part and this is the part I think keeps everyone trapped. It's going to hurt either way but for how long and how badly and how damaged you end up is 100% your choice. Sometimes we fail to realize that the pain is in holding on and the relief is in letting go. Just my two cents and i know you've probably came to this realization a long time ago and every other possibility as well but can't seem to make a move and that part is something only you can achieve no matter what advice your given. For me it was realizing the above mixed with me realizing that I had value and I was a good guy who is worthy of being treated as such. Set clear boundaries and if she doesn't respect them then she never will then you have to follow through on the consequences.