A little wish

I'm writing this and I don't know what to exactly write.. but I wanna write something, to feel something, to make something..

I don't what I'm doing for my life lately, I built and then destroy, I break and try to fix, I cry and then act like a numb, I try to do my best, to be the best, but then.. I just regret and feel pain, I make people get attached to me and then leave them and cry..

I wish I could be better, for myself, for my mother, for my life, for those who have always prayed for me, for.. for something good afterlife.

I wish I could shine like a Helen.

I really wish, may God forgive me if I fail.