Break up
Hi. I am currently going through the worst break up of my life with someone I love more than anything in the world. He loves me too - but needs to work on himself so that he can be in a successful relationship.
I would do anything to make it work but he doesn’t want too and his decision seems final. We agreed that if it’s meant to be it will be - and in the future we may find our way back to eachother. The love we share feels magical - and I have memories flashing through my mind every second of the day.
I know I need to work on myself but I have no friends and feel immense loneliness. Weekends should be exciting but I have nobody to talk too. Life feels empty and I am not seeing a future without him in it. I feel helpless and I am struggling to move forwards.
Any advice would be hugely appreciated
@Emrose7
Hi Rose,
Thank you for reaching out here to us all on 7 cups.
Regarding your post, what I feel ( just my honest opinion ), is that if two people love each other then instead of leaving each other to focusing on one's self, a couple should work together. Whatever problems, challenges, and struggles you or he has, its better working on and cheering on together. Working away alone is not a solution really. A couple in love, can bring out the best in each other and being supportive and helping each other should be better then breaking off and hoping to meet in the future.
I could be wrong too. But what I feel is that if a real love has come, then both of you should work on each other while supporting each other together.
The important word is "Together."
Staying away from someone you really love is painful and perhaps the worst feeling ever. So maybe you two can talk it out? To see if you two can work on each other and on your relationship too.
Wishing you luck and have a nice day 💗
Hi @CupidtheKingofLove,
Thank you for your reply, it’s greatly appreciated.
Due to past trauma, he feels he needs to work on himself alone to be the man he needs to be. Issues crept into our relationship which on reflection I believe we could’ve resolved better than how we did at the time.
I have reflected and want him back so badly, I believe he is the love of my life. He is telling me that “if it’s meant to be, we will find a way” in the future.
I can’t hold onto that hope though - because if it never happens I’ll never begin fo heal. I can’t imagine a life without him and I have tried communicating everything I possibly can to him in order to save us. It just feels like he’s given up, but he loves me.
Maybe we don’t have the same version of love because mine is so strong that I would never give up, I’d fight for it. I feel so empty.
@Emrose7
@Emrose7
Hi Rose,
I'm sorry you are going through this, it is heartbreaking to have to let go of someone you love. We obviously don't know specifics about what is going on in your relationship and assuming you have communicated your needs and he has done the same to come to this realization.
Its not easy to move on and let go. I also don't have my own friends where I live with my boyfriend and trying to meet new friends can be difficult. I might suggest maybe finding local *** groups that interest you and meeting people that way (for me, I love hiking and photography and was able to find some local groups around that). There are also websites like 'meet up' that might have things you are interested in attending. Doing things that you enjoy will be key here, and a lot of self care. What things do you enjoy doing?
Hi @MegKort
He has been through a lot in his past and so have I, we didn’t communicate well because of this at times and didn’t understand what the other person needed.
I am anxiously attached and he is an avoidant. I loved him so deeply and we tried for so long to make it work, but we couldn’t see how in the end.
Now we’ve stepped out of the relationship I’ve realised a way we could fix it, I’ve told him this, and he’s told me that he just needs fo be alone despite having immense love for me. He said that in the future he thinks we may have a shot at being together again.
I feel helpless and have so much hope that this will happen - but the hope is becoming fear that it won’t.
Do you have any advice on how I should handle this to be able to regulate myself?
thank you so much
