Every step counts

So.. To begin I wish to again highlight the fact that I have just recently gotten a job, moved out with my partner and started to get my adult life together and so far?.. So far it has been a mess.

And it's an up and down with my feelings about it as sometimes I accept that things will be messy for a while, the next year or two even, and sometimes I am stuck in a panic mode because everyone else is simply "doing better, smarter."

And overall? I will compare it to this.

I had a terrible time in primary and middle school. Socially I was a looser, academically I was barely an average and looks wise? Never appreciated.

However if I compare it to my stressor right now, I would consider those from the past "lighter" than the ones I am dealing with right now, but all perspective changes with time, knowledge and effort.

Now I struggle with finances and finding a way how to keep up with rent and groceries at the same tome, plus some occasional shopping for clothes (and this Christmas season is a killer for my already empty wallet, pff).

And the only reason why it looks like other, maybe even "adultier adults" are doing better is because they either had a different support system, as to me, parents sort of left me to figure out majority of the things and are giving me minimal support right now. Or they simply were and adult for longer, have a better-paying job, etc etc.. Everyone is struggling with something and those people which seem to have it easier are definitely lacking on other fronts, as their development and knowledge definitely varies to yours..

You are still doing your best with the tools you are given and the fact that you made it this far is already incredibly commendable. "Bare minimum", sure, but it is something you have achieved on your own and will only continue to nurture the future you want.

Each day will be time for one step closer to what you wish to fulfill your life, let it be additional education, persuadion of a different career, getting that cozy cabin in the woods, becoming something that in your head screams "That's me".

And it will take time and turns and limps along the way, but you're not behind - you're learning. You're lost but have the capability to find your way.

Overall, you are much further than you used to be and sorting everything out takes time and effort with which you will grow and you will realise that you are the best person to lean on.

Go out, find that friend group with similar goals, do that weird thing you have put away to try because the worst guilt of time is to not live it with authenticity, but shame, and you always have the ability to shape the next day closer and closer to your goals.

As for me? I am struggling with budgeting but I finally managed to pit away some money last month. Will I have to use the savings this month already to afford some groceries? Most likely, but that is already a step towards knowledge and ability to save up money and manage it better.

Every step counts, because every step is yours