I'm struggling with looping thoughts
Many days I'll a trance like state where my thoughts loop about dangerous and perverse natured stuff. It's been happening since middle school and my appointed therapists never seemed to help they just threatened to lock me away even though i never acted upon them. People around just say to stop thinking about it even when i can't, it consumes me on certain days and i become what i consider a monster. I start hating myself and start considering the world would be better with one less freak. I don't harm myself cause i usually snap out of it but i would like to be able to talk about it without being judged or being told that I'm a loser.
@trippingalice33
That really sounds like a difficult challenge. I'm glad you really do "snap out of it" at times. It's evident that you're not a monster. Would it surprise you to know that "looping thoughts" aren't that uncommon?
Years ago, a therapist told me, "I forbid you to think about monkeys today... not even a single thought!" For the remainder of that day, and several days that followed, images and thoughts about monkeys kept popping into my head.
It was his way of convincing me that the more you resist a thought, the more likely it will persist. Just as an experiment, what if I told you that you're absolutely forbidden to think about pineapple on pizza? Let me know how many times images of pineapple-y pizza come up.
You aren't your thoughts. You are their observer who decides how useful they are. You can observe thoughts as they cross the stage of your mind, acknowledge them, hold them in place long enough to let them know you aren't afraid of them, then let them pass, like clouds that drift into oblivion.
Or... you could offer those thoughts a slice of pineapple pizza.
Feel free to message me if you think I can help.
