Jobseeker

Hi everyone!

Currently, I am struggling with feeling unmotivated to do anything and depression. Fyi, I just graduated from college this June and I already have this overwhelming anxiety since last December.

At first, when I graduated from college, I still try to look for jobs and sending my cv, cover letter, motivation letter, etc on many jobseeker apps. I try to study for the upcoming civil servant test in my country. I also try to participate in a digital marketing bootcamp online. But no matter how hard I tried, after receiving rejection after rejection, trials after trials, and problems after problems for at least this 2-3 months. I feel tired. I feel unmotivated. I tried to went out and meet my friends yesterday to somehow cheer me up, but I don't even feel any better. I also try to listen to many podcast regarding mental health. But, no matter what I do, I feel dead inside. I feel hopeless.

I woke up this morning, feeling like it'd be better if I just died. I slept for a few hours after crying because I thought it'd make me feel better or at least I also hope that I also hope I can sleep longer to God. So, I can just die in my sleep.

To be honest with everyone, On top of having a hard time to find a job that'd accept me. I am also feeling pressured by the fact that I am the eldest child out of 4 children in my family. Additionally, my parents also pressured me to find job as soon as I can. But, what can I do? when I already tried so hard but still all I get is another trials and problems.

Thanks for reading my story until the end. I just wanna share this in hope to feel better and maybe find someone who understand this issue or going through the same thing. I wish you all a great day!