Mom is crazy… brother is crazy…

Below are just a FEW things my mother/brother have done over the past year or so… they both are very toxic and give narcissist traits. dealing with this has been horrible

july 5th-brought up that she thought mother’s day felt weird because i did not buy her a gift. Buys her a gift every single year. Currently pregnant she bought me a gift and had constantly brought up the fact that she bought me a gift. mother’s day was 2 months ago and she keeps bringing it up. it’s so unfair to me because my brother gets my mom NOTHING.. nothing. he constantly takes money from her and she doesn’t bat an eye. but God forbid the one year i did not get my mom something it’s an issue.

purposely missed dress shopping. i paid $50 for an appointment to go wedding dress shopping with my mom. my brother and his wife had an argument that day and for some reason my mom felt like dr. phil that day and decided that whole day would be about my brother. we ended up spending 2+ hrs at a restaurant just sitting in each others face and she didn’t bring up my appointment at all. my mom does NOT forget things so it did not slip her mind. she missed my appointment on purpose. even after confronting her about it she claims my brother needed her… 

baby shower- friend offered to pay for my husband and i bill at the restaurant. unbeknownst to me, my mom ended up paying for our bill and we didn’t know. she asked me if i needed the receipt? no, why would I need the receipt ?? then proceeded to say she paid for our food in front of everyone thank you?

my brother was supposed to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. My dad passed 4 years ago.my brothers wife was one of my bridesmaids. My other 2 bridesmaids are my best friends who did everything right. time was ticking down and my brothers wife hadn’t bought her dress yet so i offered to buy it along with the shoes. keep in mind i was also paying for all the girls to get their hair & makeup done. so overall she had to pay for nothing. My brother also really had to pay for nothing as well but maybe a suit. But he has plenty suits he could have worn. at the end of the day, just show up. he tells me the day before my wedding (day of rehearsal dinner) that he can’t make it… i’m devastated. i’m left with trying to figure out who is going to walk me down the aisle. my husband and I ended up walking down together. i spent so much money on them to come and they could even show up for me. they couldn’t make it due to financial reasons but somehow they were about to attend a convention in Las Vegas the week prior. i’m clearly not important enough. my mom on the other hand didn’t even try to help him get to my wedding. My wedding was in virginia where i lived (my husband and I are military) and they lived in tennessee. tennessee to virginia is 7hrs. keep in mind my mom and brother were living together at the time in the same house… and my mom is very nosey and invasive when it comes to everything except the time i needed her to be. my mom drove to virginia by herself didn’t ask if my brother was going to make it or if they needed help getting to virginia. she just left and also ignored his phone calls that day for some odd reason. I feel like right then and there my mom could have stepped up and made sure my brother was there but she didn’t. My husband and I are checked into our resort room and my mom calls me and i told her that my brother wasn’t going to make it. i’m sad and crying and instead of her comforting me, she immediately starts asking what excuse should we say for him? “should we say he has covid? a flat tire” “what should we say?” I can’t believe that she is more worried about what to say to other people than to make sure i’m okay, this is my day and it’s already ruined. 

my mom, her friend, my brother, his wife, and his kids were supposed to stay in an airbnb that weekend for the wedding. everyone except my brother had paid their portion of the airbnb a few weeks in advance. fast forward to the day they’re supposed to check into their airbnb, my mom is trying to call my brother to see if she can check into the airbnb because she is already in virginia and he is obviously not in town yet. he eventually comes clean and expresses that he did not pay his part in the airbnb and the rest of the money needed to be paid by 3:00 so they ended up losing the airbnb. now whose responsibility is it now to book my mom a hotel room or a place to stay cause she can’t do anything for herself? me.. the bride. i have to solve every issue while dealing with the anxiety of getting married. they lost all the money they out down for the airbnb cause my brother waited to the last minute to say he couldn’t pay for it.