Still dealing with the consequences of someone else's actions

I just woke up. Suddenly, the disrespect resurfaced. Being mean by to me for no reason, while I was only loving towards him. Refusing to be intimate, avoiding talks, yelling at me to understand him, calling me an insensitive schmex addict. Refusing a trip together and yelling at me again because it costs too much, while staying home in another room, beating it to strange women on schmex cams and only fans. Making the divorce extremely difficult, refusing to pay back money he said he will, while spending $9000 on said cams and only fans. Lying to me and cheating on me for 3 months straight, refusing a divorce and saying he'll 'work' on our marriage. Spending thousands in therapy while only becoming a worse person overall. How am I supposed to carry all this? Why am I the one who's suffering, while he's still spending that money on therapy, alcohol and other women.