i dont know what i feel
I'm almost 20 years old, from a young age I received inexplicable treatment from my family that made me become like this, a person I don't even like. I have a very hard time conveying what I feel and how I feel, even to convey this I have difficulty. I often feel like a crazy person. I feel very cruel and mean to everyone. I get angry very quickly and my emotions change very quickly. I feel very cruel and mean to everyone. I often feel alone and neglected, I often feel very angry when I don't get what I want and what happens is not what I want, I hate myself very much, and always question why I am like this.
As for what my family did to me, I've forgiven them, but somehow I don't care at all about what happened to them, I don't even want to talk to them.
I feel very frustrated, and sometimes feel that death is better than all this.
@eclipwze3110
It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of pain and frustration and I can only imagine how tough that must be. Feeling like you don’t recognize yourself and struggling to express your emotions is really hard.
It’s clear that your family dynamics have had a significant impact on you and it’s valid to feel hurt and angry about that. Even though you’ve forgiven them, it’s okay to still feel detached about your relationship with them. It makes sense to want to protect yourself from further hurt.
Please know that your feelings are valid and it’s okay to ask for support as you navigate this.
