Nowhere to turn
Hello everyone,
This is the first personal post I've written on here and it's taking everything in me to write as I'm so emotionally worn out that I feel it does no good to share ones story. I've come to a point where I am unable to really move forward in life after an 11 year relationship ending with kids. Thinking I could reform a drug addict and a convicted thief whose been to jail 6 times during our relationship, she blames me for what she does, saying I never provide enough to make her stop doing what she does.
The things that occurred during those years have left significant damage on me due to my tolerance. I'm worn out to the point that I'm not sure I can aid myself enough to the point where I can actually coparent with her. Either I have to legally get full custody, which I can by law as lawyers said I could easily but do not have the heart to do or it is to remove myself entirely. I don't want to do either.
My health is deteriorating pretty fast. I have headaches all the time and it makes me want to sleep constantly. I have much more to say, but this has already worn me out. Thanks for listening.
That's terrible of her to blame you for her bad choices. I'm sorry for your trouble and headaches. I coparent with my ex-husband who's lucky I didn't press charges against him for choking me years ago. My eldest daughter is gonna be 17 this April. She lives with him. I can't wait until she has her own place someday and I don't have to deal with him anymore. We get along for her sake.
Thank you @SweetPea321 for you relating to my story. I was also choked as well, but being of a sizeable stature, I let her do it because defending oneself can always go awry. I made some celf centered choices when she was in jail for the fifth time that she didn't like even though she had constantly and still puts it on me for every bad thing that occurs to her. Going through the agony of watching my children be without their mother to then say I was self centered to sell our cameras and vacuums as I watched my children from home is something I still can't get forgiveness from. I want to think about my own life, but it's hard to not care for her despite how reckless her logic is. I really didn't feel like I was going to make it much further. I fear going to the doctor. Even a therapist
@SweetPea321 I really hope things improve for your life situation, friend. It's so tough to swallow your own logic to defer to someone whose logic you don't trust. I pray for you and your daughters health. Everyone's mental health, really.
Thank you and I wish you good luck with your situation as well.
@IslandHopper i'm really sorry this is happening to you. but whatever choice you choose, stick to your gut. let yourself take time. i understand the headaches and you want to sleep constantly. but you can't give up. you can definitely let yourself visit this darkness but remember not to live there.
Thanks @bixy for your encouragement. You are correct about sticking with a decision. Something I'm horrible at. Probably why I'm still suffering. I doubt myself a lot and tend to reconsider things after every argument. I will make my best effort not to give up even when by body says otherwise. Thanks for being a bright light; may your future always be bright.
Sorry to hear you have had these experiences
@Kurt1234 Thanks my friend. Hope things are well with you.