Checking in - Horrible Morning :(
This morning I found out that my coworker passed away suddenly last night. He was an outstanding member of our community, always there for his family, kids activities, coworkers. He was like an older brother to me, as I am an only child. I also found out that another coworker lost his mom at 101 years old last night and his long time girlfriend is in a nursing home and not doing well at all. It's a lot to process, I am in disbelief, and the tears won't stop.
I don't believe grief really leaves us. There are always little things that remind us of our lost loved ones. I lost my dad in 2015 and I have not been the same. I never used to cry, now I cry all the time. If someone says something wrong or looks at me a certain way, I cry. I am an emotional basket case.
I go home to a dog and a cat...as my boyfriend has been in jail since August. So I go home to a pretty much empty house, no one to hug, no shoulder to cry on, all alone...to sit and let my mind wander and think, get in my own head...it's hard...and makes it hard for me to keep my faith, which so strongly keeps me together.
(Edited for content by @peaceloveandpaws)
@BeaconofLite
Friend @BeaconofLite.
Many losses in your life!
I'm glad that you say about faith "which so strongly keeps me together." I'm a Christian. Jesus Crist says "I am the Light of this world. He who believes in me shall not walk in darkness, but have the the Light of Life." (From the Bible). I for sure want this Light to shine brightly for you and me (when our days are not so bright).
Helga.
@BeaconofLite
I am so sorry you have to experience so much loss in such a small amount of time. You are right grief does not leave us and does change us with the loss. Keeping the faith and knowing the Lord is walking beside you holding you up as you deal with the loss.
You mentioned coming home to an empty house and sit and let your mind wonder. This is not a good thing to be alone and letting your mind wonder you are not moving forward. Try taking a walk or joining a gym. Staying interactive with people on any level helps us to accept what is going on and continue to live and move forward.
Our friends and families who have passed would not want us to stop living yet instead live for them by enjoying life.
You are in my prayers for healing and being able to move forward.
@BeaconofLite,
oh my goodness this is a lot you are going through. I’m so sorry for your losses ☹️It kind of reminded me of when I lost my best friend almost a year ago now. I haven’t been the same since she passed away. She was my only true friend always there for me when I most needed her. Right now I’m also in disbelief crying all the time wondering why life is so unfair and just take the people you love the most. You are right grief is hard to go away especially if that person was so close to you. Whenever I go outside or shopping I just see my friend in every person thinking that she is still here with me. But I get sad 😢 and say she is never coming back. I’m sorry you have to go to an empty house that you feel you have nobody to cry to or hug, let me say if you do happen to see my posting that I’m here for you will send you a virtual hug 🤗 I know that you need one. Don’t hesitate to come back here and just say how you are doing. Hope you are doing well and please stay strong.
