Struggling

Hey there! Don’t even know where to start. My marriage fell apart 2 months back but that doesn’t even come close to being the issue. I was in a coercively abusive relationship. Everything was controlled y my ex. Everything. I used to be morbidly obese and nearly died cause of it. I went on to lose that weight and found a passion in wanting to be a personal trainer in which I’ve nearly succeeded at. She tried to sabotage everything I have done up until I left. The more confident I became the more I started to fight my corner and stand up to her on things. It made me feel worse in the fact I started to realise how unappreciated I was. My kids were seeing this every day and I hated it. It got to the point she was sick of me standing my ground and told me to get out. I had changed since losing weight and she didn’t love me any more. By this point I didn’t give a shit I wanted out. I was really unwell the first week after I left so was recovering with that and then with in 2 weeks I got a job for the first time in 9 years. I love my job and have settled in really well. However that work life balance is a slow process and I’ve went from being around my kids all the time to seeing them when am off work via FaceTime. I have no home, no bed, no bank account and no id. Nothing but I have my health contact with my kids and an opportunity of a lifetime in starting my own business but it all takes time and money that I now have. Missing my kids is my biggest issue and coming to terms with the fact I was probably loved by the ex to some extent but not the way I thought. I don’t miss her and I tried to make the relationship work despite everything maybe that was the issue aswell it was always one sided unless it suited her needs outright. I hate the fact I’ve been so tolerable of being treat like crap for so long.