Alcoholism

I've come to the realize that I'm an alcoholic, but not just an alcoholic I am addicted to specifically going out. There's something about the combination of alcohol, social stimulation, and music that completely draws me and I don't even know why. I don't even always like going out, and it gives me anxiety because I spend a lot of money. But the idea of staying at home somehow is crushing to me and I don't know why, I feel trapped, bored, I have a lot of dopamine fluctuations because of my ADHD.

It seems like any strategy that I give myself, I end up just lying to myself, going over budget, not following my own rules, and it's getting to the point where I'm afraid that I can't stop.

Most people would say just go to therapy, but even my co-pays are pretty expensive. They're overall cost for therapy could only be justified if I absolutely was able to stop all of these habits.

My problem is that I can't afford to wait for therapy to work, I can't afford to double up on that along with my current spending.

Something of which as of now I don't really have full control over, at least it feels that way.

In addition to that my insurance doesn't cover anything anyways.

There's a lot more that goes into it, but if I could just control that, dial it back somehow or find a way to be happy in my own space it would help a lot.