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I need some help with my life!! I’m from Colombia been marry with my husband for 18 years i have 3 kids, have everything and more that I ever dreamed. But I’m not happy. It’s crazy but it’s a long history. Came here with fiancé visa! My husband was great on vacation when he was visiting me. When I came and straight to live together. We figured our defects and sucked we love each other I think but I feel so empty I don’t feel loved I don’t get attention from anyone I just give and give!! My husband is an amazing person who helps anybody different than me. I tell him my feelings but they get fix with sex 🫣 I think he doesn’t want to listening to me. My feelings are hurting I don’t have fun I don’t go out only for kids events. Just need someone to tell me or help me what to do it’s a lot more into the problem but I don’t know how this work
came out
@quickwittedLemon2552
Welcome to seven cups 💜💕
I'm really sorry you are struggling and feel unloved and unheard in your marriage.
We can become complacent and it's difficult when sex seems to be the fix but its only going through the actions.
It's hard to be in a country also you never saw yourself being in forever.
It can be isolating.
It's important , you have an open conversation with your husband and express that you need more.
You might have the material things but you need the support and the feeling if your husband, having your back.
Your feelings matter 💜💕
I'm sorry Lemon that sucks.
Sometimes guys are on a different page then we are. What I like to do in this situation is get dressed up and demand my husband to take me out places lol. It can be uncomfortable but it gets the job done.
Only YOU are responsible for your own happiness and freedom, not your husband, children or anyone. The ONLY person who have control and choice and power over is YOU.
You can always choose what makes you feel happy, joyful and feel. It is NEVER about what anyone does or says but about your own choices based on the thoughts you choose and the feelings you evoke from those thoughts.
@AbundantDeepak can't agree more with what you said but we married this person out of love. We expect romance, sometimes a gentle hug telling us its ok, to listen to us and understand. In a relationship its a 2 way street. But yes You do you, be unapologetically you.
Find yourself again Lemon. It might be a beautiful journey finding yourself again and so enjoy trying new things.
Yes, you may have married from love, but you forget that no person anywhere in the world, whether it is a spouse, family, friend, or co-workers, can ever give you their full attention 24/7, 357.
Even those you expect love from are always going to divert their attention from you, whether you like it or not. Every person without any expectation is selfish in the sense that their attention is diverted to other things or people. They seek other pleasures and interests. Even a person who loves you will find other things to love. It's natural, and it's expected.
So, I suggest you do the same. Look for anything that makes you feel happy and diverts your attention from whatever you don't want. Focus only on the things you want and enjoy.
When you do this, people are naturally going to get attracted to you because you become a magnet to those who want to live the way you
do.
You mentioned that relationship is a 2 way street, if this is true then why are there millions of couples who divorce, separate or annual their marriage?
A marriage only works when both couples have learned to love themselves unconditionally and be happy no matter what happens. When your love is unconditional, you don't have expectations hence disappointments. You can share each other out of your abundance NOT out of need, force, resistance or assertion. You love totally because YOU ARE LOVE. It has become your true nature and being.
@quickwittedLemon2552
Don't know if it is a good advice, but I think maybe you are looking for time for yourself, you are looking for ways you can appreciate yourself and be happy without actually finding your happiness in serving others, and I think this is something many woman want in their life when the society assumes that serving is considered as there is first duty, but hey I think you can start by telling your husband, that when you say as in I am not happy, I mean I want time to appreciate myself, how about sometimes you can take care of the kids so I can relax. And perhaps you can find a new hobby for yourself take out time to get dress and visit places outside, make some friends out there or join some community groups around that offer shared projects perhaps through this you will be able discover your own worth in the marriage, tell your kids that you also need some time to relax and just can't keep going, maybe they can also help you in building a new hobby, sometimes you could just put music around and dance with your family or perhaps learn a new dance online! I hope it helps, best of luck 🍀 🍀 🍀
If you are only doing children things that alone can be a problem. You need to go on vacation just you and your husband .You sound drained. And I don't think you realize your feelings are valid.
Sorry you’re going through a rough time seems like he thinks sex fixes everything and alot of problems im a marriage aren’t directly sex related and need communication and joint effort to fix things meaning both of you have to be willing to work together as a team as a married couple should always do. I’ve been married almost 9 years in April together 10 in May. We have disabilities but still communicate and we are fully committed to each other and want this to work out also we out God in it best we can that’s a big 🔑 as well. The problems will become bigger if he doesn’t start being more of a team player and srx may be part of a problem solver but it’s not what the problem is about. Got to share intimacy with more than sex other physical touch and affection and emotional intimacy and connection and closeness that’s what makes you two closer and I may recommend couples therapy to help with things between both of you. Message me more if you want to talk.
We can talk together if you don't mind
@quickwittedLemon2552
😓sorry to hear that
@quickwittedLemon2552
Dear lemon I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering.
We have only one life to live, pease keep that in mind.
You alredy did I first step by joining this amazing community of compassionate humans.
I am not a listener but please try to find someone you can open up too, it will start to heal you right away. Sending you my love and support and warm hugs🤗🌷💗