life goes bad for me

I feel like I need to explain why I’m so overwhelmed today. It’s not just one thing; it’s everything hitting me at once.

Lately, I’ve been caught in this confusing cycle. There’s someone who looks at me constantly—a look that feels 'romantic'—but he never says a word. That silence hurts because it makes me feel invisible, like I’m only worth a glance but not a conversation.

At the same time, I finally opened up to someone else. I shared my darkest moments, the rumors that followed me from middle school, and the fear I have of being rejected again. To my surprise, he was incredibly kind. He told me he’d pray for me and that it’s okay to disconnect. Having that support made me realize how much I value real, honest connections.

But it’s hard to enjoy that when I see so much dishonesty around me. A friend of mine is keeping secrets from someone who deserves the truth, and it breaks my heart because I know how much it hurts to be kept in the dark. On top of that, another person who I thought was being genuine suddenly changed his attitude and became cold for no reason.

Today, March 11th, I’m just tired. I’m tired of being the one who cares too much, the one who is always honest while others play games or hide. I’m not 'annoying' or 'too much'; I’m just a people with a lot of history trying to find someone who actually means what they say. I need time to breathe and heal from all these mixed signals