Brother in law bullies me for being unemployed
Hi everyone, This is my first post here. I’m probably just venting, but if anyone has had a similar experience I’d love to hear how the dealt with it. For the past several years I’ve struggled with being underemployed. I started as a massage therapist during the Great Recession. I wasn’t always booked and spas weren’t always hiring. After several years of working with a mobile spa and a high strung boss that wasn’t forthright I quit, and had the opportunity to study ceramics, which I enjoyed and even made some money doing. I also worked at a small business in downtown LA, but it didn’t pay well, there was homeless people around the store that would periodically try to come in (I was alone there) and the owner was pretty distant, so after talking with my husband we decided it was best that I left. Fast forward several months we invite my brother over for dinner and tell them we’re moving out of state. We’ll be staying with my parents while we house hunt. He immediately asks my husband “are you going to pay rent?” Then he looks at me “are you going to work?” Yes I said “If there’s something I can do” (this is during the pandemic and my husband is diabetic, so I wasn’t going to take something that would put his health in jeopardy) Why? Are you disabled? I then explained the above to him. I think he was petty because we’re moving to a place where we’ll have a better quality of life and my parents are supportive. He lives in his mom’s house, with her, his dad, his wife and her mom. (I should mention that this is not the first time they’ve said something like this. A while back I was talking to her and I don’t know how this came up but she said “ do you WANT to work?” So basically my mother in law and my brother in law passed judgement that I’m just lazy. They couldn’t care less about what situation I’ve been in. I just feel like they kick me when I’m down. It’s a horrible feeling to think you don’t contribute to society, despite efforts. Do I have to make 6 figures just to prove my worth as a human being? I can’t wait to move! My in laws are toxic self absorbed and arrogant and sometimes it’s best people like this are avoided. I’m retraining for a new career when I get to my new home also. I really hope it works out. I’ve had so much failure (or just not enough) that I have little confidence. But I’m really trying to stand on my own two feet.
It sounds like that you are really struggling right now to get on your own two feet. You are surrounded by toxic people and it has had a negative effect on how you feel about yourself and your situation, especially since you have experienced so much failure already. It sounds like that your parents are supportive, but the in laws are not easy to be around. I am glad that you have encouraging people in your life and that you have made a decision to change your life in a positive way by moving (out of state), and getting a new career. Getting to a more friendly and supportive environment will help you feel better about yourself and your contributions. It feels good to be recognized, valued, appreciated and also to know that you are really making a positive difference. It will work out as long as you make it work out. It's great that you are retraining, staying occupied, focused and investing in yourself. Life gets difficult at times, but it's important to keep positive faith and to keep pushing. I wish you good luck.