Family isues
I need some advice.
I do not feel comfortable around my nieces boyfriend due to the fact that he has been abusive to her for the past 3 years. About 20 years ago, I got myself out of an abusive relationship and her boyfriend reminds me a lot of my ex.
I invited my niece and her two boys to my birthday dinner next weekend, but I asked that her boyfriend not came. Now my mom and the rest of my family decided not to come at all, so I had to cancel the whole dinner. They do not understand how I can go to my great nephews birthday with him there, but not welcome him to my dinner.
My thoughts is that I am respecting that fact that he will be at his own sons birthday. I thought they would respect me enough to understand I have the choice to not have him at my dinner.
I feel like I am in the right. What would you do?
@Asnow65 Hey. So, I can't give you specific advice, because only you know what is best for you. However, if you are uncomfortable with him at your birthday gathering, i think it is perfectly ok to hold that boundary - even if family members disagree. Those relatives probably haven't been through the same kind of abusive relationship that you have. You are a strong person! And you deserve to be celebrated! if the family members don't care to show up for your birthday, you could change your plans, and do something else you enjoy. Or have friends over for dinner instead.
My bottom line - don't apologize for holding firm boundaries and looking out for yourself and your own mental health.