Feel Like Not Enough
I am having constant feelings that I am not enough for everyone. I am married with 3 kids. I feel I do the best I can but I never measure up in my wife's eyes. One of my children is disabled and I try to address that as best I can but I feel like I fail him and my other 2 children often. I have a demanding job that dominates my time and I cannot balance my time at this point and keep everyone happy. I wish I had answers or some support that could help me push through.
I can relate. I'm married with 2 young ones. My husband and I disagree about discipline, and the pandemic has made it worse. He does do a lot, but I am still the primary care giver. One of our conversations was him explaining that diving into work was the was he felt he was best helping. But I wanted him to be present (physically and emotionally) more. We were able to see each other's perspective and that helped. I don't have answers for you, but I get that it's hard on both sides of your situation.
@raspberryOwl7432. Thank you for sharing that with me. I have zero confidence in anything I do. I can't sleep. There are times I want to push a reset button. I wish I had some answers.
Can you get help around the house, or with the kids? Even if it's friends or family. A little help might lessen stress
@raspberryOwl7432. It's hard for
me to ask for help. I want to make everyone happy. It's wearing on me.
Hi Matt, my husband and I suffer from similar stresses. Our son has executive functioning issues and I homeschool him to the best of my ability, but I never feel like I'm doing enough or doing a good enough job. My husband works long hours and then comes home and helps our oldest with her Pre-Calc and other homework because she was failing. Both kids are struggling with depression and anxiety. We never feel like we are doing the right thing. I think this is very common with parents in general. Especially in parents with kids who have challenges. Have you talked with your wife about how you're feeling? She might just be frustrated with herself and is taking it out on you, which isn't fair, but that might be her motivation.
@Matt343434 talk it out with your wife. My husband is occupied with work 90% of his waking hours. I used to resent him for that, but I'm trying my best to be understanding and be grateful that working is his worst vice. He's just trying to provide for his family, and so I've got to learn to live with less time and attention from him. I guess marriage is all about finding that understanding with each other. Good luck.
I think we forget to keep the line of communication open. Sometimes when things are off in our lives it’s because we didn’t ask for what we needed. You need to talk with your wife. You also need to go back on dates and make time away from the stress. We forget to feed our love for each other too. Life gets busy and we usually put ourselves on the back burner. I bet if you made sometimes to reconnect that would really help.
Well...........In my case I am alone and lookinfg for someone to come in my life......what you guys think of I am 43 male.....do you think i should go for having new life partner in this age or i should live my life as it is ??